


Honest Deceit

by MiaBailey



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-26 00:11:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6215806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiaBailey/pseuds/MiaBailey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU ~ She discovers that her whole, planned out, perfect life is nothing but a lie. First, her fiancè, Wonho, is not who she thinks he is. Then, after running for their lives, she finds out her family has also been lying to her, her whole life. Can she get past the deceit? Can she make it through without losing loved ones along the way? In the end, in her new reality, is 'happily ever after' a possibility? </p>
<p>In total ~ 30,000 words (complete)<br/>Warning for violence and suggestive themes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Honest Deceit

Chapter 1

Morning sun streamed through the flimsy curtains, shining right into my closed eyes. The light woke me from a light sleep. I had been dreaming about my mom and brother, a weird dream about meeting them at a park. As the dream faded, my sadness did not. I still missed them even now, three years after their deaths.

I turned in bed, looking over at my fiancé’s face. Angelic in sleep, I knew that he was only innocent when sleeping. Awake, he was silly, goofy, nerdy...but mostly naughty. Wonho’s ability to turn from doofball to sexy was my weakness.

His lips moved a little as he dreamed. The light didn’t bother him; he could sleep through a hurricane crashing into the house. I moved closer to him, snuggling up on his bare chest and wrapping his arms around me. He murmured more noises, but didn’t wake up. 

I dozed for a little bit, safe and warm in his arms, never actually falling back asleep, yet not fully conscious. An annoying beeping from his phone snapped me out of it, however, and it was enough to wake him up. One arm disengaged from me to swing around and bat at the side table until he found his phone. With a sleepy sigh he pulled it in front of his face, turning the alarm off then draping his arm over his forehead. 

“Good morning,” I sing-songed quietly, looking up at him.

He opened one eye and tilted his chin to look down at me. “It’s too early,” he murmured, but squeezed me closer with the arm that was still around me. He began tracing circles on my back with his fingertips and I was suddenly in no hurry to get out of bed. I lightly scratched his stomach and waist, dragging my fingernails lightly over his skin.

He groaned in frustration. “Why do you do this when you know I have to get up,” he growled, rolling over on top of me and pressing his body down the entire length of mine. His mouth left a trail from my collarbone up to my ear lobe, which he paused to nibble at. 

“You could be late,” I managed to say. Every where he touched me was on fire, nerve endings tingling, emotions melting me into a puddle of inhibition. He was my weakness, the one person who could make me irresponsible and throw caution to the wind. Especially when his mouth touched any part of my body.

He slammed his lips onto mine, a hard, rough kiss that left me gasping for air. “I wish,” he said when he pulled back, letting his fingers drag down my body as he rolled away and out of bed. “I’ll be fired if miss this meeting.” He looked toward me longingly one last time, but disappeared into the bathroom to get ready for his day.

I was left in bed feeling wholly unsatisfied. I heard the shower turn on and was half-tempted to just go and join him, but I knew he was right and he was running short on time to get ready for work. I would just have to have him make it up to me when he got home later tonight. I marveled for a moment how lucky I was that I was going to marry the perfect man.

Wonho was smart and well employed, a history professor at the local university; he was kind and caring, sweet and protecting. He could nerd out over history, then geek out over video games. Then, without batting an eye, he could be the sexiest man on the planet, knowing all the right moves, touching all the right places. He was quite the enigma. He was my enigma. 

I was on call at the hospital today, which meant I didn’t have to be into work, but I couldn’t stray far from home. The apartment Wonho and I shared wasn’t large, but we both worked a lot so it got pretty messy. My huge goal today was to go grocery shopping and clean the place up so it looked like humans lived there. I sat up in bed just about the same moment as Wonho walked out of bathroom in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist.

You had to appreciate his body, no doubt. His face was adorable, with his ears that stuck out a little far and his nose that was just a pinch too long, and his messy brown hair falling into his perfectly shaped eyes. The guy, however, found time to work out and his body was a masterpiece. Perfect arms, not too big but well muscled, a nicely defined, perfect six-pack, and long lean legs, perfectly proportioned to his body. Did I mention that his body was perfect? At the moment, it was all I could do to keep myself from drooling. I don’t know who I saved in a previous life to be this lucky, but he or she must have been pretty damn important.

“Ah,” he complained, walking past me and tweaking my nose. “Don’t look at me like that, babe. I don’t have time.”

I stuck my bottom lip out in a pout. “Are you sure? I mean, are they really going to fire you for being a little late?” 

He looked at me for a few seconds, seriously considering it before waggling his finger at me. “Stop it, little vixen. I’ll be back tonight. Hold all those naughty thoughts you were just having.”

I grinned. “I don’t think I was the one with naughty thoughts.”

He stopped rummaging around in the dresser, walked over, and licked my lips. With a wicked grin he turned back to getting ready. “Now you are,” he chuckled. With a frustrated groan of my own, I flung myself back on the bed and covered my face with a pillow, refusing to come out until he left the building for fear of not being able to restrain myself. 

~ * ~ * ~

After I picked up the apartment, I walked to the corner market to stock up on groceries. I was grateful my phone never rang; I really didn’t feel like working today. I had pulled a double a few days ago and it had been a long and arduous shift. The time away let me reset my stressed mind and relax a bit. 

I carried the two bags home, one in each hand. Our apartment was on the third floor and I cursed every step in my head on the way up. When I reached the door I saw it was ajar. I didn’t remember leaving it open, but I had been daydreaming about my morning with Wonho when I left so it was entirely possible that I forgot to make sure it latched.

I shouldered my way in hesitantly. The entryway and living room looked like how I had left them. Chances were that no one had been by and noticed the open door; I had only been gone a half hour at the most. I paused near the couch and listened to silence for a few moments to steady my pounding heart. If someone was in here, I would have heard them by now.

Shaking my head at my incompetence for leaving the door open I went to the kitchen to put away the groceries. When that was finished I headed to the bedroom, intent on taking a shower and getting ready for Wonho’s return home in a just a few hours. I wanted to make him dinner so we could eat quickly and finish what we started this morning.

I was only two steps into the bedroom when I felt rather than heard someone behind me. Before I could react, a hand clamped over my mouth and an arm wrapped around my waist. I was being hugged back tight against a body, my feet barely touching the ground. My hands automatically went up to pull the arm away from my face but his grip was iron; it was like clawing at stone. 

Rank breath washed over me as a warm mouth pressed against my ear. “Shhh, little girl. We won’t hurt you if you cooperate quietly.” It was a British accent, speaking in English, and I understood every word. Yet my instinct was to struggle and not listen to him. If he took me away, chances were I wasn’t getting out of this alive. If he was going to kill me, kill me now before the kidnapping and torture.

It was a good theory, but in practice it wasn’t working. I felt like a five-year-old struggling against the hold of a giant. He was dragging me back through the house. I don’t know what his plan was to get me out of the building, but he was going to have a hell of time with me awake. I attempted to scream but his hand muffled the noise more than I anticipated.

“Hey, Ben, we have a problem,” another voice already in the living room said in English as I was dragged out of the bedroom. I could only see the back of him; he had dark hair and was stocky, muscular, like a mini bodybuilder. 

That wasn’t the surprise, however. Just inside the door from the outside was Wonho. He was in jeans and a leather jacket over a white button up, his hair just as messy as when he had left this morning. The surprising thing was the gun he had trained on the guy in the living room. I didn’t know he knew how to use a gun.

The way he was holding it, he seemed like an expert. He kept it steady on the first guy, but his eyes slid over to me and my captor when we came into view. His eyes narrowed in anger, a rare emotion that I had only seen on his face once or twice in the eight months we’d been together. 

“Why don’t you put the gun down, and we’ll be on our way,” the guy holding me called to Wonho. “We aren’t here to hurt anyone. Our boss just wants to talk to the pretty lady.” 

“Well, that’s my pretty lady,” Wonho said. “And I can’t let you take her. So why don’t you let her go, and I won’t shoot you.”

The stocky guy chuckled. “Do you really think we’re scared of a history professor with his toy squirt gun?”

Wonho pressed his lips together, his eyes darting from me to the guy still chuckling and back again. I was afraid he was going to shoot. I don’t know where he got the gun from, but if he shot someone, I was scared it might be me. 

Whatever debate was going on in his head, it finished. I could see the moment the decision was made. He squeezed the trigger, once, then twice, and both the man in front of me and behind me fell to the ground with a thump. I was shocked that the gunfire was as quiet as it was; my ears were still ringing, but I don’t think the neighbors would have heard the shots. Wonho must have had a silencer on the gun.

Wonho. I stood, frozen in place, realizing that the stocky man in front of me was lying on the ground, dead, bleeding from his head onto my favorite rug. I didn’t dare turn around to see what the man who had ahold of me a minute ago looked like. Instead, I stared at my fiancé, my nerdy, goofy history professor, who had just killed two men with a gun that had a silencer on it. My brain was not comprehending, just spinning in circles.

He took a step forward and I automatically took a step back, almost tripping over the body behind me. As it was, I stumbled and had to grab the wall to keep from falling, but he halted after the first step. I think he said my name, but my ears still weren’t hearing one hundred percent. “Come on,” I heard him say. “We have to go right now.”

I looked at the body beside me. He had been a hefty white man, bald and tattooed. He had a bullet hole in the middle of his forehead, rimmed with crimson blood dripping down the sides of his temples. I thought about how close his face had been to my own. I wondered how Wonho had shot him and not me. How was I still alive right now?

I looked back to find Wonho closer to me. I held up my hand. “Stay away,” I warned him. 

He pleaded with my name. “I can explain, we have to go right now though.”

“You just killed two men with perfect shots. I don’t know you,” I said, my voice shaking.

He tilted his head, looking at me with those oh so familiar eyes, his expression the same as when he was trying to persuade me to give him a back massage. “You know me. It’s still me. I would never hurt you,” he said. He held out both his hands to me and I realized I had no idea where he put his gun. “There will be more of them. There will be cops. We need to go, right now.” 

“There should be cops,” I said. “There are dead people.” I pointed at the body by my foot. As a doctor I dealt with dead people on almost a daily basis, but seeing someone murdered before my eyes was creeping me out. 

He stood close enough to grab my hands, but I yanked them out of his grasp. “Please, trust me. I know this is all chaotic and strange and scary, but it will be a whole lot worse if you don’t leave with me, right now.” 

There was something in his voice, something that I wanted to believe in. His eyes were looking at me with desperation, his second attempt to hold my hand still gentle. This was my boyfriend, my fiancé, the person I had trusted my future to. He just killed two people...to protect me. Even though I was terrified of him, he had also been my safe haven for so long my instinct was to trust him.

“You’ll tell me what’s going on?” I asked, allowing him to take my hand.

“As soon as we’re safe,” he promised. “We have to go.” He began pulling me toward the door and I followed behind him, gingerly stepping over stocky’s body.

Once out of the building, he put his arm around my shoulders like he did whenever we walked together down the street. Normally I loved it, but this time I was stiff, unsure of what to do. “Act natural,” he said, nuzzling my ear. I tried to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace.

We turned into a parking garage that I had never been in before. This was not where he parked his car. I found out he had other skills a few moments later because I watched him break into a car and hotwire it. Too deep in now to run away, and too scared to be on my own, I sat in the passenger seat of a stolen car and let him drive me through town, out of town, and away from the city to God knows where.

Chapter 2

The atmosphere in the car was so thick with silence that I felt like I might suffocate. Wonho drove, staring straight ahead, and I stared out the passenger window, replaying the scene in the apartment on a continuous loop in my head. After a while, the thought crossed my mind that Wonho and I weren’t normally a silent couple. Ever since we met, our time together was filled with talking, laughing, music, or questions. We never had those moments people dub ‘comfortable silences.’

This silence was definitely not falling in the comfortable zone. I didn’t know what to say and he wasn’t coming up with any words to say to me. Just as I started to get fidgety in my seat as the sun was setting, he pulled off the road into a small town that advertised a motel. While he went in to rent the room, I sat in the car and debated running away.

I looked around the car at my surroundings, colors muddying in the dying light as the sun disappeared. Where would running get me? I had no clue where I was because I hadn’t paid attention to where he was driving. By the time I got out the door and down the street, he would just come after me and most likely find me. I just witnessed him kill two people, so I probably shouldn’t make him mad, despite his promise not to hurt me. He was still Wonho, my fiancè, and I could trust him...right?

The debate was over when he came back to the car. We didn’t have luggage, or even my purse, so we didn’t have anything to carry to our room. He led me to the door with a gentle hand on my lower back, from which I tried desperately not to cringe away from. Once inside the room I felt like I could breathe again, a deluge of overwhelming emotions erupting through me. I barely noticed the peeling floral wallpaper, the TV that looked like it was from the seventies on the two foot long night stand, or the fact that only two out of four lamps in the room actually worked.

“What...in...the..hell?” These were the only coherent words I could form. Fear was riding the top of the emotional waves first.

Wonho exhaled loudly, running a hand through his hair to get it out of his eyes. He wasn’t wearing his ‘professor’ clothes, he didn’t have on his glasses; he looked like a man to be scared of, instead of the sweet gentleman I knew. “There’s a lot to explain. I know you’re upset, but let's sit down and get this sorted out-”

“Upset?” I asked, my eyebrows shooting up into my hairline. “Terrified. Horrified,” I shook my head. “Upset is an understatement.” 

He tried to say my name gently, but that just infuriated me further. “You need to explain to me why you just killed two people,” I demanded, jabbing my finger toward the ground to emphasise my words.

“Because they were going to kidnap you,” he replied, his expression neutral. His face was normally so expressive; I had always been able to read happy, sad, irritated, even embarrassment from just a look. I couldn’t recall a memory of his face being impassive before this moment.

I shook my head, hands on my hips. “No, that’s not what I mean. Where did you get a gun? With a silencer? When did you learn to shoot like that?” My voice kept raising in octaves as I grew more panicked.

He pressed his lips together, looking at the floor. His eyes darted back and forth, like he was debating on what to say to me, as he inhaled deeply. He was contemplating lying to me. This man, who had swept me off my feet, who I had been convinced hung the stars in the sky just for me, was about ready to feed me more lies.

“No,” I said before I could stop myself. “No more lies,” I insisted as he looked up at me. “Have you been lying to me for the last eight months?” 

“It’s not that simple-”

“It’s totally that simple. You were either truthful, or you weren’t,” I said, feeling the hot pressure of tears on the back of my eyes. It wasn’t sadness that was threatening to spill; it was anger and frustration on top the adrenaline high that was wearing off. The fear of almost being abducted, on top of the shock of seeing people shot was starting to sink in. I felt my hands begin to tremble, so I grasped them together to keep from shaking.

He sighed again, and to his credit he looked truly upset. “It started out as a job, but then things changed-”

“A job?” I don’t think my voice had ever reached that high of a pitch before. “I was a job?”

“Would you listen?” he asked, running his hand through his hair again. “I was there to keep you safe, to gather information about your father, but it turned into more-”

I cut him off, again. “What’s my father got to do with this?”

He closed his eyes. His impassive mask was dropping and I could see the frustration building. My heart clenched, an automatic reaction to seeing someone I loved in pain. Then my own irritation took over. I felt weak, like I wanted to faint. My anger at being lied to was the only thing keeping me on my feet.

He said my name for a second time, causing the fleeting thought of how much I loved the sound of my name on his lips. My knees shook, but I didn’t fall. He continued, “If you would let me talk, I can explain.” 

We both paused, staring at each other from across the room, the single queen size bed between us. I had so many questions, more than I had already asked, but I was worried that every sound he would utter would be a lie. I wasn’t sure how I could trust his words.

When I didn’t speak, he started again. “Your father isn’t who you think he is,” he said, jabbing his finger toward the ground, an echo of my own gesture earlier. “He’s an illegal arms dealer for some bad people. I was hired to get information about him…” his voice trailed off as he finished quietly, “through you.” 

All I could do was blink. My father was a wealthy business man, it was true. He took a lot of business trips and made lots of money. He never explained what he did, other than he ran a company. I had wanted to be a doctor since the first day I could remember, so his business never interested me enough to ask about it. But my father had been there my whole life; I was daddy’s little girl, especially after mom and Hyungwon died. He wasn’t a liar, he wasn’t a bad guy. He was the one who took me out for ice cream when I was sad, bought me shiney accessories when I had done well in school. Now Wonho, this proven liar, was trying to tell me my father was an illegal arms dealer? How was I supposed to believe that?

“So, what, you’re like CIA, MI6, a Korean spy, or what?” I asked, my voice audibly shaking. I was trying to push back memories of my father that were surfacing, memories that would confirm what he was saying. There had been weird late night phone calls when we were having movie nights; I had seen him at luncheons with questionable people I had assumed were other businessmen. Doubt scratched at the back of my mind and I wanted to turn the conversation back to Wonho before I let it get a foothold.

He shook his head, his eyes still locked on mine. “No, more of a hired gun than a government agent. Ex-military, undercover specialty.” He frowned, exhaled, then looked away from me. “I was only meant to date you for a couple months, see what I could get. When it was obvious you didn’t know anything, and your father kept it all from you, my job became moot and I was supposed to leave.”

“Why didn’t you?” I demanded, my heart conflicted. I still loved him, that didn’t immediately disappear. In my mind I still saw us getting married, our wedding, our children, our future. Yet it was all a lie, so I also knew I was fooling myself. It would have been better if he had left months ago, before the engagement, before my life started revolving around him.

His eyebrows lifted as he replied, “I should have.” He jammed his hands on his hips and I could tell he was forcing himself to look back at me. “But I couldn’t. It’s going to sound all wrong, I don’t know how to say it so you’ll believe me, but I fell in love. Like, head over heels, drowning in emotions I don’t understand, love.” He shrugged. “Which is the number one rule that I wasn’t supposed to break.”

I was holding my breath. Words that I loved hearing, that I was looking forward to hearing, I was now listening to them and they made me want to vomit. I didn’t know what to believe, what to think, what to do, what to say. When black stars started blocking the edges of my vision I remembered to breathe. My body, already weak from the stress, finally had had enough. I dropped to my knees on the bed, sinking low until I lied down on my side, facing him. “I don’t believe you,” I said, sounding an awful lot like a six-year-old. 

He pushed out his lips and twisted them sideways, a cute look that had previously made me poke at his cheeks. He got on his knees on the bed as well, but didn’t lie down. “I know,” he said. “I wish I knew how to make you.”

“The only reason I haven’t run screaming,” I said, “Is because I was almost kidnapped and you were definitely the one who saved me.” I ran my fingers over the bedspread in front of me, a tactile distraction from fully feeling my current emotions. “But beyond that, I don’t know you. You’re a stranger. With a gun. A dangerous stranger.”

He sighed and started to lean forward, like he was going to touch me, but he thought better of it and stayed where he was on the bed. “I’m not dangerous. Not to you, at least. I’m still the same man you’ve been sharing an apartment with for the past few months. The only difference is, I’m not a professor. Everything else about me is the same. I never acted with you; it was always me.” He did reach out then, placing a hand on my side very lightly. “You don’t have to be scared of me. I would never hurt you.”

His words brought unwanted tears to my eyes, creating too much pressure for me to hold back. I could feel them drip across my nose, onto the pillow, my vision blurring. I rolled away from him, facing the outside of the bed, out of reach from his hand. “Too late to say that,” I said. “This is the most pain I’ve felt in my life.” 

~ * ~ * ~

I was a cuddly person by nature, so most mornings I woke up to find myself wrapped around Wonho in one way or another. My first thoughts before becoming fully conscious were about how nice he smelled, clean and manly; his scent reminded me of comfort and protection.

Therefore, waking up the next morning with my nose jammed into his arm and my leg wrapped around both of his legs, didn’t strike me as unusual. I felt safe and warm, the fuzzy haze of sleep still keeping me ignorant of my situation. It was a moment that I wish I could keep frozen in time forever, a feeling that I didn’t want to let go of.

Then the crash came. Memories of the day before, the fight, the drive, the talk, the tears, all came flooding back in a tsunami that almost knocked me out of the bed. My head was spinning and I felt sick to my stomach. My violent jerk away from Wonho woke him up; he jumped to his feet looking like he was ready to fight someone.

I rubbed my face with both my hands, trying to somehow focus on one emotion. I didn’t remember falling asleep last night, but I knew how exhausted I was near the end of our conversation, so I probably had just passed out. I was under the blankets, so he had moved me to cover me up. I wasn’t sure why he thought it was okay to sleep in the same bed as me, but somehow that didn’t make me mad. The feeling that surfaced the strongest this morning was resignation. It felt a lot like defeat.

Wonho realized that there was no threat, so he sat on bed, facing away from me. He only had on his jeans; he was shirtless. He hated sleeping in shirts, so this wasn’t a new sight for me, but one I had always appreciated. As irritated and angry as I was at him, my heart still skipped a beat at seeing his bare skin. It was all I could do not to reach out and touch him. I had to remind myself that he was a liar.

“What’s next?” I asked, flopping onto my back so that I didn’t have to look at him any more. The ceiling of the motel had faded from white to yellow, cracks scattered throughout, cobwebs in the corners. This was really a shady motel he picked.

He sniffed loudly as he inhaled and I caught him scratching the back of his neck out of the corner of my eye, both signs I recognized that showed he was unsure of his words. “I have to contact my handler. I don’t know who tried to kidnap you, but we need to find out. I’m afraid it was a power play. Your father might be in danger.”

I sat up, staring at the back of his head. Wonho had met my father twice that I knew of, at dinners with me. He said he met him alone to ask if he could marry me, but now I was doubting. The two of them, however, seemed to get along well during those meetings. I never suspected anything.

“I should call him,” I said before remembering that I didn’t have anything except the clothes I was wearing. My phone, my purse, my ID, everything was back at the apartment. 

Wonho shook his head. “No, that wouldn’t be smart. Not until we figure out what’s going on. There’s only one person to trust, and that’s my handler. He’s one of the two people in this world that I trust with my life. Once I talk to him, we can figure out our next step.” He stood, walking toward the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. I heard the hiss of the shower after he turned it on, so I laid back down, draping an arm over my eyes.

My brain was having a hard time wrapping around the situation. I didn’t know what to believe at that point. Was my father an illegal arms dealer? My boyfriend was obviously not a professor, but was he really here to protect me? Maybe he was the actual kidnapper and he was taking me somewhere to be tortured, interrogated. My heart doubted it, but my brain kept telling me that I couldn’t be sure. Everything I had known about him was a lie, wasn’t it?

According to him, it wasn’t. Just his job. He loved me, he stayed with me when he shouldn’t have, he proposed marriage, and had me thinking about the future. Our future. He was trying to tell me last night that it was all real, the love, the friendship, the affection...that was truth. I wanted to believe it.

I was on my feet before I knew what I was doing. I was crazy. Staying with an armed lunatic that was clearly having a psychotic break and taking me along with him, that was crazy. My father wasn’t an arms dealer, my boyfriend was a liar, and I should probably disappear before he came back out of the shower.

In my haste for the door, I hadn’t realized the bathroom had gone silent until the door whipped open and Wonho, clad only in a towel around his waist, stepped out. His hair was dripping, as if he hadn’t had time to dry it, his expression unsurprised at seeing me sneaking toward the door. He stepped out, blocking me from the exit, glistening in the dim lights from the motel room. 

“Leaving without me?” he asked, tilting his head with the inquiry.

I backed up a few steps to put some distance between us, but he match my steps perfectly. “Uhh...I was hungry so…” I was a terrible liar and we both knew it.

He kept taking steps toward me, so I kept backing up. Until my butt hit the wall, then I was stuck. He was nodding at my words, like he believed them, even though I knew he didn’t. He got close to me, close enough that I could smell the shampoo from his hair, the mint from his breath, see the drops of water that clung to his eyelashes and the tip of his nose. It was suddenly very difficult for me to breathe. 

“Hungry?” he repeated my word. His eyes were currently boring into my soul, so I had to look away from him. He gently brought his hand to my chin to turn me back to face him. “We’ll go get some food, okay?”

My heart was a traitor, an absolute traitor. My knees felt like mush, wobbly, barely holding me up. My eyes dropped to his lips as I bit my own, adrenaline rushing through my body like a drug. I was still scared of him, but my body remembered him; it was accustomed to responding to his touch. Here he was, inches away from me, next to naked, being sweet about breakfast, and all I wanted to do was push him onto the bed and forget about life. That was our weekend specialty, a day in bed where there was nothing but the two of us, and an occasional break for ramen. I wanted that so bad. I wanted that life back.

I could see it in his eyes. He wanted it too. That hungry, passionate look was all over his face. If he made a move right now, I didn’t think I’d have the willpower to stop him. Despite everything, I was still putty in his hands. I was weak; he was my kryptonite. 

Instead, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to my forehead, holding them there for seconds longer than needed, before pulling back to look at me. “Take a shower. You’ll feel better. We can get food after.” 

When he stepped away from me, it was like I had been holding my breath, suffocating, and suddenly I could get air in again. Rational thought kicked in the farther away he got. Was I really ready to surrender to him a second ago? This man who had lied to me for eight months? Just stand there in a towel, six inches away from me, looking sexy, and everything is forgiven? What was wrong with me?

With a noise of irritation, I stomped over to the bathroom and slammed the door. I started the shower, glad for the loud hiss of high water pressure. I needed it to drown out the sound of my tears.

Chapter 3

Wonho ushered me back out to the stolen sedan the moment I stepped out of the bathroom. He told me we had to head back to the city, which was the last thing he wanted to do, but it was where his handler would meet us. We were going to have to steal another car before we got close to the city; he couldn’t risk being caught by the police near Seoul.

“Wonho, I’m not really comfortable stealing-”

“Hoseok,” he interrupted, glancing at me before looking over his shoulder to back the car out of its parking spot. “My name is Hoseok.”

That shut me up. Even his name was a lie. The refreshing feeling I had gained with the shower started to fade as reality snuck up on me. I frowned, but he wasn’t looking at me, he was watching the road. I turned to look out my window, low gray clouds covering every inch of the sky that I could see. The atmosphere reflected my mood perfectly; heavy hearted, sad. 

We swapped cars in busy town with mild traffic. It made me ill to steal from an innocent person, but Wonho...no, Hoseok, insisted our lives depended on it. He was the guy with the gun, so who was I to argue? At this point, I was resigned to fate, following along because I didn’t know what else to do. If there was a moment to run away, contact my dad and get out of this mess, I would take it, but Hoseok kept a very watchful eye on me. My chances of ditching him were slim.

The meeting place was almost back in the city, but more toward the outskirts of Seoul. It was a busy market street, with cart vendors and people skittering in and out of shops. I supposed it was easier to get lost among the crowd than stand out by yourself on an abandoned street. Still, Hoseok had both of us wearing black face masks to be on the safe side.

We went to a second story apartment above a porridge shop. There were two doors at the top of the stairs; Hoseok knocked on the door to the left. There was commotion on the other side, then an audible click as the door cracked open. It stopped an inch in, like whoever had opened it had just walked away and left it. Hoseok opened the door the rest of the way and held his hand out, indicating I should go in first. My heart was thudding in my chest, my nerves on end, scared at what I might find inside the apartment. If Hoseok was badass, how scary would his handler be?

Inside, I was immediately hit with the scent of lavender and jasmine. It was relaxing, soothing even. I felt the muscles in my neck loosen; I hadn’t even realized how stiff I had been until it went away. My worry was replaced with a sense of peace. My heart still thumped with fear, however, making me dizzy.

Then I noticed the pale pink and blue walls, calming and inviting. There were no adornments, just plain colored walls, but it still felt cozy. There was a couch and a comfy chair that looked like my grandma had picked them up from a garage sale, but in good condition. The round table and four chairs were straight from an iKEA catalogue, stark white and brand new. In one corner was a little wooden desk with a laptop, a PC, and about a billion wires going everywhere. The place couldn’t decide if it was the home of an old senile lady, or a young teenage boy.

I felt Hoseok come up behind me. He stood very close; I could feel his warmth along the entire backside of my body. Even his breath tickled my hair when he cleared his throat to announce our arrival. I wanted to move away from him, at the same time I wanted to lean back into the safety of his arms. This whole mess had me too conflicted to think straight.

There was a guy sitting at the table, hunched over, fiddling with something electronic. He was in a purple floral bath robe, with matching lavender bunny slippers. I could only see the top of his head, but he had a typical Korean hair cut, reddish in color, and I could see he was wearing thick, black rimmed glasses. He looked like he might be a few inches taller than me, if that. I could tell because he feet swung back and forth, barely brushing the tips of his bunnies across the linoleum. 

“Kihyun,” Hoseok said when his first attempt at getting his attention didn’t work.

The guy looked up, an adorable blank expression on his face when he saw us. His lips pinched together, in confusion or frustration I wasn’t sure, and he shoved his glasses up his nose with his index finger. “What?”

I felt, rather than saw, Hoseok hold out his arms to the side. “We’re here. Like you requested.” 

I was surprised when he gave me a rather angry look before sliding his eyes over to his charge. “Shit has hit the fan,” he stated flatly.

“You’re telling me,” Hoseok sighed, finally stepping around me to sit across from Kihyun at the table.

“Someone wants Youngjin gone, out of commission,” Kihyun said, staring only at Hoseok.

My ears perked up, however. Youngjin was my father’s name, so I was ninety-nine percent positive they were talking about my dad. Was he saying someone wanted my father dead? Who would want him ‘out of commission’? 

Hoseok must have been reading my mind. “Who?” he asked, leaning forward onto his forearms on the table. 

Kihyun shrugged. “That’s the mystery. The Chinese have their own thing going right now that’s much more lucrative. Sungsoo is his direct competition, but he’s been operating business as usual. Japan got us into this mess, but they’re claiming they’re going after bigger fish. I just haven’t been able to find any information on who is making all these moves.” 

“Trying to kidnap her,” Hoseok pointed at me, “was reckless. You’re telling me this person is that reckless, and you can’t figure out who it is?” 

Kihyun shot me a glare when Hoseok pointed at me, but his gaze softened when he looked back at Hoseok. “Crazy, right? I know everyone in this game. It must be someone new.” 

Hoseok exhaled loudly, running a hand through his hair to get it off his forehead. His fingers tapped a steady rhythm out on the table, while his leg bounced to a similar beat. I knew he didn’t like to be idle, unless it was cuddle time in bed. He always had to be doing something, or planning on doing something. This lack of information was going to be frustrating for him. 

I had been standing frozen in place during their conversation. Hoseok seemed relaxed, and while I could admit the scented candles were helping me be calm, I was still on edge, unable to believe this was all real. “Can I call my dad?” The words were out before I knew I was going to ask them.

Both heads turned toward me in unison. Hoseok looked sympathetic; Kihyun looked irritated. “No, you can’t call your dad,” Kihyun told me like he was talking to a four-year-old. “Didn’t you just hear me say people were trying to kill him?”

My eyes grew wide because those were not the words he used a few minutes before. “Well then I have to call him, to warn him-”

“Kihyun…” Hoseok’s tone was wary.

“If you contact anyone, we might as well give up now, and head to to morgue to save the city some trouble,” Kihyun said. “Your father is a grown man, with lots of bodyguards and failsafes to keep him alive. I wouldn’t worry about him. I’d worry about myself...yourself...you,” he jabbed a finger in my direction to emphasize his point. “Whoever this is doesn’t just want him gone, he wants you, too.” He frowned, looking back at his electronic pieces in his hands, adding a mumbled, “for some reason.” 

Hoseok glared at the top of Kihyun’s head for a moment before turning back to me with a forced smile. “Kihyun’s mad because I chose to stay with you instead of leave when I was supposed to, so his words are coming out angry. He’s honestly this blunt with everyone, but he’s snapping at you because he thinks you’re a witch who cast a spell on me.”

“I didn’t use the word witch,” Kihyun mumbled, which earned him a flick on top of his head from Hoseok. 

“We need a plan,” Hoseok said after a moment. “I came here because I trust you, and you’re the smartest person I know. You need to tell me what to do.” 

Kihyun stopped fiddling and looked up at Hoseok, his expression this side of confused. “Why would I tell you what to do? You never listen to me.”

Hoseok rolled his eyes. “Stop it. I listen.”

Kihyun’s eyes slid over to me, then locked back onto Hoseok who had no choice but to hold his hands up in defense. “Okay, okay, okay. I will listen.” 

Kihyun made a face of disbelief, shaking his head, but in the end he stood up and brushed past me toward the PC on the desk. “Let me look into some things. You guys can stay here tonight, it should be safe enough for one day.” He paused before sitting down, whirling around to jab a finger at me again. “Don’t touch anything. It’s all a delicate balance. If you touch it, it might explode.”

I nodded at him, trying to show him I was taking him seriously, though with him wearing purple bunny slippers it was hard to take the threat to heart. I swallowed hard before venturing to ask, “How about the kitchen. Can I make some food?” Hoseok and I hadn’t eaten since this morning, and that had only been a shared sandwich from the gas station. My stomach was rumbling so loudly I was sure Kihyun could hear it from across the room.

He actually stood there and considered it for a full sixty seconds before nodding. “Fine, you can make dinner. Just don’t break anything,” he warned, before turning back to the computer.

I headed toward the kitchen with Hoseok on my heels. “I’ll help,” he said.

I turned back around and almost ran into him, he was so close. I put a hand on his chest, trying to ignore the tingles that contact with him produced. I attempted to push him away, but it was like trying to move a stone wall. “No, I can do it.”

He smiled at me then, a bright, genuine smile, that melted my reserves right to the floor. His little overbite, his tongue pushing at the back of his teeth so it was barely showing, the little creases around his nose...how was I not kissing his face right now? “I know you can do it. But you know I like to help you cook.”

This was true. He was always with me in the kitchen, usually being more of a distraction than actual help. I wasn’t sure how my heart would handle him being all touchy feely if he decided to fall back into normal routines. I was so conflicted about him, still, that I didn’t know how to respond.

He took me by the upper arms and turned me one hundred and eighty degrees so I was facing the kitchen again. I guess he was going to help me cook dinner.

A quick perusal through the cupboards showed me that Kihyun didn’t keep much food stocked up. There was enough to make a decent ramen dish and that was about it. Hoseok was happy about that; noodles were his favorite. I went about the kitchen, trying to do as much of it on my own as possible. I had Hoseok cut up the few vegetables that were in the fridge while I did everything else. He reached over me to get the pot from the high shelf when I couldn’t reach, smiling and patting me on the head affectionately. I tried to stop my heart from swooning, but it wasn’t listening to my head.

The kitchen area was small, too small for two people to move around comfortably. He was constantly touching my side or my back to let me know where he was so I wouldn’t run into him. I would be lying if I said every time he touched me I didn’t feel a thrill of excitement. I knew how amazing those hands were on my skin and I was trying desperately to forget.

Dinner was made and the three of us sat down to eat. After a bite, Kihyun actually smiled at me, little dimples popping out at the top of his cheeks. He was quite adorable when he wasn’t being a jerk. The meal was mostly silent, the three of us eating as though we hadn’t been fed in weeks. 

“Did you come up with a plan?” Hoseok asked Kihyun, sitting back in his chair when he finished, patting his belly contently. 

Kihyun shook his head. “Not really. But I have a first step. We need money, cash. We can’t do anything without that.”

Hoseok grabbed his water glass and took a sip while Kihyun talked. “I assume you have a person in mind,” he said.

Kihyun nodded, slurping up the last of his noodles. “You know who.”

It was Hoseok’s turn to nod. “I suppose desperate times…”

“Trust me on this,” Kihyun said.

“You’re the only one I would.” 

~ * ~ * ~

Hoseok and I laid on the pull out bed from the couch, a hard metal bar jabbing me in the middle of my back. I was as far from him as possible without falling off the bed, but I couldn’t fall asleep. I was worried about my dad, worried about what was happening in my life. My conflicting feelings toward Wonho...damn it, Hoseok, were gnawing at my insides. He had been lying to me for months, but he was in the process of trying to help me. He wasn’t who I thought he was, but he was still the person I fell in love with. It was enough to drive me mad with indecision.

I don’t know what time it was, but I finally fell asleep. I only know that I did because a sound woke me up later. It was dark outside, but we were illuminated by a streetlamp that the curtains couldn’t keep out. Everything in the apartment had an ethereal, blue glow, and for a minute I thought maybe I dreamed the noise. 

Then I heard it again, something scraping near the entry door. I turned to look at Hoseok, but his head was already up and he was looking toward the door. He put a hand out to me, indicating that I should stay still, while he crept from the bed toward the drawer where he hid his gun last night. He had wanted to sleep with it, but I had refused. Now, that seemed like the stupidest idea I ever had.

Hoseok was in a pair of borrowed pajama pants from Kihyun, red with pink pigs that stopped at mid-calf. He was shirtless and looked very vulnerable, almost like a teenager who had no chance against a group of thugs that might be outside that door. Even though I saw how well he shot the kidnappers the other day, I wasn’t sure how he would fare in hand to hand combat if he didn’t make it to his gun. That was one of his mysteries now; was he a fighter or just a marksman?

The sound of the door being broken in was an explosion that scared me right off the bed. I hit my shoulder on the metal side, slicing it open from something pointy, but I didn’t even feel the pain. I skittered backward to keep the couch between the door and myself. Three guys came in, dressed all in black and luckily not brandishing guns. 

One was short and stocky, with mean eyes that probably made him look angry one hundred percent of the time. There was a tall guy, not Asian, blonde, with a build and face that was more European than anything. Then there was the third guy, a mix between the two, with tiny eyes, a cocky sneer, and a shiny knife. All three had eyes locked on me and didn’t seem to notice Hoseok.

They advanced in a group and my mind went blank. I wasn’t built or trained for physical conflict. In my life everything had been resolved by talking or walking away. I had no clue how to react to threatening men coming at me, so all I could do was stare, every part of my body going numb as my flight adrenaline started kicking in.

Hoseok was a different story. He came from the side like a panther, unarmed but quick and smooth. He had the short guy in the back in a choke hold, but all he got was an elbow to the gut for his trouble. Hoseok’s grip loosened enough for shorty to squirm out and turn to throw a punch that was easily blocked. The two traded blows that were mostly deflected which was good; shorty looked like he packed a mean punch.

The other two were momentarily distracted from me by the commotion, but must have figured the short guy could take care of himself because they didn’t make a move to help him. They advanced on me, the one guy’s knife glinting in the light from the street lamp. I scrambled backward on my feet and hands, panicking when I ran into the wall all too quickly. I had no idea how to defend myself.

Hoseok was being backed into a corner, but that was what he had wanted. He diverted shorty’s attention to one side, while grabbing a lamp with his other hand and smashing it on the guy’s temple. Shorty stumbled, knocked senseless from the heavy blow. He let his guard down enough that Hoseok was able to grab the guy’s head and smash it against his knee, breaking his nose and rendering him unconscious. 

Hoseok didn’t pause to admire his work, he was after the next closest guy, the guy with the knife. This guy seemed like the leader of the group; he motioned for the European looking guy to grab me, while he turned to face Hoseok. I felt a tug at my sleeve, making me yelp in surprise, wondering when a fourth bad guy had entered. When I looked, I saw it was Kihyun, motioning for me to get behind him. He had a baseball bat and poised to swing it, looking at blonde advancing on us. 

I scrambled behind Kihyun and we backed toward his bedroom door. I wasn’t sure how much a baseball bat was a threat to the big man, but I felt better that we had a weapon and he didn’t. The man lunged at us, and Kihyun swung, a satisfying crack sounded when the wood made contact with the man’s hand. Something had to have broken, but the man merely looked at his hand with irritation before turning furious eyes back on us. We backed up another step.

Behind the blonde, Hoseok and the leader were swinging arms at each other. The leader had the knife, slicing the blade toward all Hoseok’s vital parts. Hoseok was quick; he avoided getting cut as far as I could see, but with no weapon his attempts to fight back were not very effective. I watched in horror as the leader took another swing and Hoseok grabbed the blade of the knife with his left hand to push it to the side, using his right fist to smash the guy in the face.

The leader was more stunned than I was at the turn of events, and now his nose was bleeding. Hoseok used it to his advantage, grabbing the guy’s arm that still held the knife and twisting it back around so the leader stabbed himself. The guy dropped to his knees and Hoseok took the knife from where it was protruding.

Meanwhile, the blonde was muttering English curse words at Kihyun and I, advancing with his broken hand a little more cautiously. He reached into an inside jacket pocket with his good hand, so Kihyun stepped forward to swing the bat at his head. At the last second, the blonde reached up with his good hand and grabbed the bat, stopping Kihyun’s swing. He jerked it from the smaller guy’s hands, a look of glee in his eyes. He was ready for revenge.

I grabbed Kihyun around the waist and pulled him back toward the bedroom, unsure why that felt more safe, but it was the only thing I could think to do. Kihyun wasn’t a fighter, I wasn’t a fighter, we were both at a disadvantage. 

The blonde suddenly went wide eyed and fell to his knees, the bat dropping from his lifeless hand. He slumped over and we could see the knife sticking out from his back, perfectly thrown to hit the man’s heart. He was very dead. I looked up to a panting Hoseok who had obviously thrown it.

There was a heavy silence, punctuated only by Hoseok’s breathing. Kihyun and I must have both been holding our breath, because we exhaled simultaneously when we realized the three intruders were not moving. I still hand my arms around his waist, hugging him tight from when I pulled him back. We jumped away from each other, remembering we weren’t really friends.

I looked over just as Hoseok made a pained face and slumped into a dining room chair, holding his injured hand. All rational thought was gone, the only thing I could see was my fiancè was hurt and I had to help him. I ran to the kitchen to grab a towel, raced over to him to wrap his injury. When I grabbed his hand, he jerked it back. “It’s fine,” he insisted.

I frowned at him. “I’m the doctor, I’ll determine if it’s fine.” I snatched his hand to look at the wound. It wasn’t as deep as I feared, but it was still going to need stitches. “We need to clean this up.”

“No time,” Kihyun said from behind me. “Get dressed, we have to leave now. The police will be on their way.” As if on cue, sirens could be heard in the distance.

Hoseok grabbed the towel and wrapped his hand quickly. With my help he got dressed, took his gun, and waited for me to get ready. I tried not to wince when I pulled my shirt over my own wound. I would have to worry about it later, it didn’t seem too bad at the moment.

When I looked back at Hoseok’s face I could see that he was paler than normal, the color drained from his face from fatigue and blood loss. When I got near him, he put an arm around me to lead me out the door, but I could tell I was also supporting some of his weight. He was more injured than he wanted to let on.

I was worried, but we had to get away. For the second time in a few short days, I was leaving an apartment with dead and/or unconcious people in it before the police could arrive. I felt like I was living in an action movie rather than my own life. We followed Kihyun to a nondescript black SUV, to which he had keys. At least we weren’t stealing another vehicle.

In the back of the SUV, I assessed Hoseok’s hand as best I could by flashlight in a moving car. I had grabbed a few first aid items to cleanse and disinfect the wound. I tried to ignore the hiss of pain that he let out when the alcohol touched his injured skin. The doctor in me was itching to sew it up, but there was no way I could do it in the car, plus I had no supplies. Instead, I wrapped it with the little bit of gauze I had scrounged up and another clean towel. 

A few minutes later he was asleep, his head on my shoulder, his uninjured hand in my lap. Despite my misgivings, I took his hand in both of my own, holding on tight. I watched the back of Kihyun’s head as he drove us toward whatever destination he thought was best. I had put my life in the hands of these two. I desperately hoped I was trusting the right people.

Chapter 4

It was strange to me that we seemed to be going deeper into the city when we were trying to run away. Kihyun was driving us into Seoul, navigating the roads confidently, so I could tell he knew where he was going. Hoseok was asleep on my injured shoulder, which was starting to ache. I looked down at his hand I had clasped in my lap, my mind a chaotic mess. The love of my life kept killing people in front of my eyes. He was doing it to save me, but it still wasn’t something that seemed like reality.

Only two days ago my reality had been holding Wonho’s hand in the park, swinging it high like children while eating ice cream cones. He had taken me to a fair where we got on a ferris wheel and he hid his head in my lap the whole time because he was scared of heights. He had won me a blue teddy bear that was sitting on my dresser back at the apartment. He cried when we watched super happy or super sad movies because he was a sensitive soul. We had been talking about getting a dog. That was the reality I was used to, the life that I wanted.

Talk about being flip turned upside down. Now, my father might be a criminal, my fiancè was a killer whose name wasn’t actually Wonho, and there were strange men trying to kidnap and possibly murder me. I swallowed hard, trying to keep emotions from overwhelming me. This was not the time to start crying. As a doctor, I was a little more in control of my feelings than most people, but this situation was stressful to even the toughest of souls. I didn’t cry, but I did feel a tear slip down my cheek. 

I wiped it away quickly when the SUV pulled into a parking lot. Hoseok jerked himself awake with the change in motion. He took his hand from my lap to wipe his eyes. He was a mess; disheveled hair, too pale skintone, blood spattered here and there on his clothes...pouty lips that for a moment had me thinking about biting them…

I shook my head, snapping back to reality. It was too easy for me to lose focus around him. I had to concentrate harder on not falling back into routines with him. He wasn’t Wonho. He was Hoseok.

The three of us got out of the car and gathered around the front of it. The street was dark; it was very early in the morning and there was no hint of the sun to indicate if sunrise was soon or not. I didn’t have a phone or watch to check the time, but it seemed absurdly late, or early, to try and see someone about money.

Hoseok had his arm around me again for support as we followed Kihyun down the street. It was a deserted sidewalk at this hour, the shops that lined the road all closed and sealed up. There was one bright pink neon sign that was on in front of one of the buildings, blinking the letters RUSH in English. It seemed like that’s where we were headed. 

I wanted to ask questions, but on the silent street I felt I would be breaking something sacred to speak. Kihyun headed into the building with the neon sign, not bothering to hold the door open for us. I was a tiny bit surprised it wasn’t locked, but then I realized it was a bar/pool hall and was probably open twenty-four hours. 

The air was thick with cigarette clouds and smelled like a mixture of rotting wood, beer, and smoke. It was hot inside, and I was instantly sweating with Hoseok leaning close on me. He shifted so his arm was around my waist, not my shoulders, and pulled me into him. Looking around at the patrons that dotted the room, I decided to let him. It was better that they didn’t know he was injured, and that they thought he was my boyfriend.

Kihyun didn’t look at anyone. I was grateful that he had changed into jeans and a black leather jacket. Even though he still had on his glasses, he at least didn’t look like a bookworm fairy princess like he had earlier. He actually looked like he could intimidate someone.

But probably not the guy by the back stairs. This dude was built, more muscular than Hoseok, but not beefy like a bodybuilder. He had pretty eyes and a cute round mouth, but that didn’t fool me. He could probably break Kihyun with his pinky finger. He stood with his arms crossed in his sleeveless black shirt and matching black pants, watching Kihyun approach with no expression on his face.

“Shownu,” Kihyun said in a tone more friendly than he ever used with me. “It’s been a while.”

Shownu didn’t smile at Kihyun, but his expression notably lightened at the sight of Hoseok. He stepped forward and Hoseok let go of me to grasp Shownu’s hand and pull him into what I defined as a “bro-hug.” It was really more a bumping of shoulders than anything, but it was obvious that the two boys were friends. Hoseok was immediately back at my side, arm around me, pulling me close, like he was worried someone was going to snatch me from right under his nose.

Kihyun stood off to the side, looking perturbed. “We need to see your boss,” he said after the greeting. “It’s an emergency.”

Shownu ignored Kihyun and tilted his head at Hoseok. “Who’s she?” 

I looked at Hoseok, wondering what he was going to say. He smiled brightly. “My fiancè, man. I told you I was going to get married some day.” I didn’t recognize this voice, the voice of an eighteen year old student, that was coming out of his mouth. He squeezed me tight and planted a kiss on my surprised mouth. “Isn’t she pretty?” he asked Shownu.

Shownu nodded, now grinning at me. “You must be quite the girl to tie Hoseok down,” he said. 

Hoseok interrupted me before I could think of anything to say. “Quite,” he kissed my temple. “And so much more.” 

Kihyun cleared his throat loudly, causing all three of us to turn toward him at the same time. “Your boss, Shownu,” he repeated. “Please.”

“He doesn’t like unexpected guests,” Shownu frowned. “He was done with meetings for today so he probably doesn’t want to be disturbed.”

Kihyun looked like he wanted to slap him, but he managed to force a smile instead. “If you would be so kind as to ask him for us. It really is an emergency.”

Shownu scratched the back of his neck, looking back to Hoseok. I could tell he wasn’t sure what to do, so he was looking to Hoseok for advice. I felt Hoseok nod at him. A tiny “please” escaped from my lips without me knowing I was going to say it. Shownu returned Hoseok’s nod before smiling at me. “I can’t make any promises,” he said, before disappearing upstairs.

Kihyun sank onto the bench behind him. I was tired, worn out, and I wanted to sink down next to him, but I knew if Hoseok sat right now, he would be hard pressed to get back up. He was leaning on me heavily, his nose nuzzling my neck to make it seem like we were cuddling.

“Do you have to do that?” I breathed, trying not to back away, even though my heart was loving every touch of his nose to my neck.

His breath tickled my ear as he whispered back, “If these guys think for a second that I’m injured, they will pounce and we’ll all be in trouble. Once we get upstairs we’ll be safe, but until then, just play along.” There was a pause before he added, “You used to love this.” His lips trailed up the side of my ear.

I closed my eyes, restraining myself from hitting him. Now he was going to tease me on top of all this? My insides wanted to explode from his touch, my mind wanted to run away because I didn’t know him at all. Damn this man to hell. What did I do to deserve him?

Shownu appeared again, freeing my ear from Hoseok’s gentle attack, and none too soon. My knees were starting to feel weak from his attentions, and my shoulder was starting to throb from my wound. With a sweep of his arm, Shownu motioned that we could go upstairs to meet his boss.

“Thank you,” Kihyun said with true gratitude, bowing before the larger man. Hoseok followed me up the stairs, keeping a hand on my lower back. I felt like he needed to have some sort of physical contact with me at all times or he thought I was going to run away or something. I wasn’t sure what it was, and I was definitely not sure how I felt about it. 

There was were several doors upstairs, in good condition despite what the downstairs looked like. There wasn’t the smell of smoke up here, but more of a clean, bleached smell. There were a few paintings in the hallway that were nice nature scenes. It looked like someone completely different lived up here, compared to the lower floor. 

Kihyun knew where to go. He went in a door to the left and I had no choice but to follow him in, Hoseok and Shownu right behind me. The office was beautiful, lined on both sides with bookshelves, pretty multicolored spines creating rainbows in rows. There were a few soft looking, smooshy velvet couches in jewel tones, and a matching chair, each with it’s own glass coffee table in front of it. The actual desk was thick, dark, and wooden and had probably needed a crane to get it into the building. Windows lined the back of the desk, blinds closed, heavy, draped, red curtains pulled back. 

In the wooden swivel chair at the desk must have been Shownu’s boss, the man we were coming to get money from. I could tell from across the room that he was a big guy, maybe taller than Shownu, and stocky. He wasn’t heavy-set, but he gave off the illusion of being a big dude, though I could also tell from his slim gray suit that he was very fit. He had a round baby face, kind eyes, and a matching gray fedora on his head that covered his hair. He was smiling at us, showing off one of the deepest, most adorable dimples I have ever come across in my life. His grin was infectious and I found myself smiling back.

“Sit,” he indicated the sofas with a hand. “It’s late, you guys must be tired.”

I gratefully sank onto the blue couch, sinking low into the cushions with a sigh of contentment. If I leaned my head back, I would probably fall asleep in an instant. Hoseok sat down next to me, also unable to keep a happy sigh from escaping his lips. 

Shownu stayed standing by the door, but Kihyun sat in the green chair, closer to the desk. “Jooheon, we have a problem.”

Jooheon kept his smile in place. “Why do you only visit when you have a problem, Kihyun? You should be more like Hoseok, visit from time to time so I remember that we’re friends.”

I looked over at Hoseok, but he didn’t look back at me. Did he visit this place while we were together? Had he been in this shady part of town instead of at the university teaching? What had he been doing when he left for the day, early in the morning for meetings, or late at night for faculty dinners? Was he out killing people? Making friends with criminals? These were thoughts that were just now crossing my mind, making me doubt him again.

“We’re all friends, Heonie, you know that,” Hoseok said. “We came to you because we trust you. No other reason.”

Jooheon nodded, steepling his fingers while resting his elbows on his desk. He tapped his fingers against his mouth a few times, his gaze darting between Kihyun, Hoseok, and finally settling on me. “This is the problem child?” he asked, but I wasn’t sure who he was asking.

Kihyun inhaled deeply, taking his glasses off and rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Yes, she would be the one.”

A crooked grin formed on Jooheon’s face as he watched me. I stared back at him blankly, not quite sure what to do or say. He tilted his head. “She’s pretty enough, Hoseok, but you have never struck me as the settling down type.” 

Hoseok didn’t hesitate in his answer. “Love changes things.”

Jooheon nodded, his lips turning down into a contemplative frown. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He sat back in his chair then, folding his hands on his stomach. “So I take it you need cash.”

Kihyun pointed at Hoseok and I. “They need to get out of the country like yesterday. At least, she does,” he flipped his hand toward me, “But I know he won’t let her leave by herself.”

It was weird that I was being talked about like I wasn’t even there. I felt like maybe I was a ghost, or under an invisibility cloak. Surely they knew I was a grown, professional woman who had a mind of her own and didn’t need to be talked about like I was a prize pig won at a fair. 

I opened my mouth to say those things, and promptly shut it, my teeth clicking at my own abruptness. Why would they know that? I hadn’t said a word, I hadn’t been anything but a damsel in distress since this whole thing started. The truth was, I didn’t know what was best for me right now and I needed them to make my decisions. I hated not having control of my life, but I needed to accept that was the way it was. For the moment.

“You’re coming too, Kihyun,” Hoseok insisted.

Kihyun shook his head. “No, I need to stay here and figure out what in the hell is going on. I can’t do that from a plane and I certainly can’t do it from another country.”

“They came to your apartment,” Hoseok pointed out.

“For her,” Kihyun indicated me with another flip of his hand. “They’ve probably had my place staked out for days, or maybe weeks just to see if she showed up. You know how crappy I am at security. I move every couple of weeks just so I don’t have to be vigilant.” He sighed, shaking his head and shoving his glasses back on his face. “No, they don’t care about me. For some reason it’s her they’re after.”

“It is interesting,” Jooheon cut in, “That they are so intent on getting her, whoever they are. We’ve all known she’s the daughter of Youngjin for for a while now. Why is she so important all of a sudden?” 

“Can you help us, or not,” Hoseok asked, ignoring Jooheon’s train of thought. I thought the guy brought up some good points, but then again we weren’t the ones with answers. Apparently, no one had any clue who was after my father and I.

Jooheon took off his hat and set it on the table. “Of course I can help you. We’re friends, that’s what I’m here for. But first,” he pointed at Shownu, “we will have rooms prepared for you. You all need some sleep. You look like shit.” 

Shownu nodded and exited the room. Hoseok sighed and leaned back on the couch. “Thanks, Heonie. You know I’ll pay you back.”

I watched Jooheon smile and nod at Hoseok. “I know you will.”

~ * ~ * ~

I wasn’t sure how this kept happening, but once again, Hoseok and I were in a bed together. I was too tired to even protest the sleeping arrangement, however. Fresh, normal pajamas were presented to both of us and we changed without even turning around. Months of living together didn’t leave either of us modest at this point. We were too tired to care.

I re-wrapped his hand with a fresh bandage, upset that I still wasn’t getting a chance to stitch it up. I let him tend to my shoulder, which up until now hadn’t been looked at. He cleaned and dressed it the best he could, but I had a feeling that we should both look into getting antibiotics as soon as possible. That wasn’t going to be tonight, however.

We were both in striped pajama pants and white tank tops, barefoot and cold. The bedroom Jooheon set us up in didn’t have any heating, but the blankets were big and fluffy so they would probably keep us warm enough. We crawled into bed and I found myself lying on my side, my back to Hoseok, scooting backward until I ran into his chest. He draped an arm around my waist, put a cold leg between my own, and settled his lips near the back of my neck, a very normal sleeping position for the two of us. Even though I was unsure about him, tonight I was scared, exhausted, and cold; sinking into him was the only thing that felt right in my life. 

I awoke slowly, going from a hazy dream about my deceased brother to the warm fuzzy feeling of sleeping in a cloud. The more conscious I became, the more aware I was of my surroundings. I was lying on my back under a down comforter, not a cloud, and I was warm because Hoseok had an arm around my waist and his chin was on my shoulder. I tilted my head so it rested on his, wishing for a few moments that the two of us could stay here, in this second, forever. Forget about people trying to get me, people being killed, arms being dealt, needing to flee the country...couldn’t life just be the two of us in a comfy bed, snuggling, for the rest of time?

My movement must have woken him, because he kissed my collarbone, his lips trailing upward toward my neck. My head was screaming for me to stop him, this guy was Hoseok, not my Wonho, but my heart was being a traitor again. My pulse quickened as his lips and tongue found my jawline and I automatically turned my head to meet my lips to his. He rolled over so his entire body covered mine; I had missed the weight of him, the feel of his skin touching mine. We were still fully clothed, but this still felt right, I suddenly felt whole.

He rested some of his weight on his forearms on either side of my head, brushing my hair back from my face with his hands, staring at me with a light smile. He gave me quick kisses all over; my forehead, my nose, my lips, my cheeks. Wanting to escape reality, I played back, trying to bite his lips whenever he got close to me. He was winning the game; he was much quicker than I was. We were both giggling when he finally kissed me longer than a second, suddenly aggressive and passionate. 

I automatically had my arms around his back, pulling him toward me while pushing myself up into him. More than anything, I wanted to forget real life and lose myself in his embrace, his kisses, his passion. He seemed inclined to feel the same way, his hands inching down my sides, his fingers under the hem of my shirt, sliding it upward.

The knock on the door was wholly disappointing. We chose to ignore it at first, his warm hands brushing the skin of my rib cage. But reality wasn’t going to let us live in fantasy. The door swung open abruptly, followed by a loud exclamation of amusement from Shownu. “Geez guys, get a room.”

Hoseok sighed, breaking away from me and wiping his lips with the back of his hand, he rolled off of me, looking over at Shownu. “I thought we were in a room.”

Shownu was grinning the widest grin his face could handle. “Yeah, yeah, I know. But the boss man wants you to meet him for lunch. Now, if you want your money.” As he backed out the door he added, “Sorry for interrupting the festivities.” 

My breath was not coming evenly yet. My heart was still pounding in my ears and my brain was scolding me for falling for Hoseok’s charm. I was unsure how I couldn’t, when he had magic hands and lips, and my body knew what those things could do to me from first hand experience. Whatever his name was, Wonho or Hoseok, he had always been an amazing lover. 

I rolled out of bed to get dressed in the new clothes Jooheon had provided. I raised an eyebrow at Hoseok still in bed, lying on his back with an arm draped over his eyes. “You coming?”

“Yep,” he said brightly, though he didn’t move. “I just need a minute.”

I couldn’t help but grin at the implication. “Okay then. I’ll look at your hand after lunch.” I left the room to where Shownu was waiting to escort me to the dining room. 

It seemed as though Jooheon owned the second floor of the entire block and had it all connected via built in doors. The only way up, as far as I could tell, was through the Rush pool hall, but he had at least a dozen rooms connected by a maze of hallways and doors. Shownu led me to one room and opened the door, holding it for me to go inside. He didn’t follow me, however, he left me inside to fend for myself.

Kihyun and Jooheon were sitting at a dining room table big enough to seat eight people. It was very Western looking, ornate wood with matching wooden chairs. The two guys were laughing, their cutest dimples showing brightly. The sight made me smile in spite of myself. They both grinned at me as I sat at the table across from Jooheon, although Kihyun’s might have been more of a forced smile. We had bonded a little bit over saving each other at his apartment, but I could tell he still resented me because of Hoseok. 

If I thought about it, that was probably the reason I wasn’t doubting Hoseok’s actions or words as much as I had been in the beginning. Kihyun being angry at me for Hoseok choosing to stay with me gave truth to Hoseok’s explanation back at the hotel. Despite all the lies, his feelings for me might actually be the truth. It was up to me to figure out if that meant I forgave him for all the lies and deceit he provided before.

A lunch spread was laid out, and my stomach rumbled at all the choices and smells presented. I filled up my plate as Kihyun and Jooheon continued to converse about people that I didn’t know. Hoseok and Shownu joined us shortly and the five of us ate in companionable conversation about nothing important. If I didn’t know better, the five of us could have been normal colleagues eating over at someone’s house, rather than fugitives and criminals eating lunch before doing something illegal.

There was a lull in the conversation as we finished up eating. Jooheon took the moment to get back to business. “I have your money, enough cash to get out of the country and feed the two of you for a few days. I’ll wire more when you get to wherever you’re going.”

I wondered why Jooheon was the guy with the cash, the one that we came to for money. How did he get money? Then I realized, I probably didn’t want to know because it most likely wasn’t legal. I watched Hoseok thank his friend with a smile and bow. 

“I also took the liberty of having a bag packed for each of you with necessities, a change of clothes, toothbrushes, that sort of thing,” Jooheon added. “Shownu will drive you to the airport,” he looked down at his watch before continuing, “In a few minutes, actually.”

The next fifteen minutes was a whirlwind of activity as Hoseok and I got ready to go. Shownu was carrying our bags, and I actually got a hug goodbye from Kihyun. Jooheon wrapped me in a bear hug, planting a kiss on the crown of my head. “I wish I had a chance to get to know you better, kiddo,” he said into my hair. “Maybe when this all dies down we can hang out some time.”

We stepped out of the pool hall into the bright afternoon daylight. It was nice to smell fresh air after being in the stuffy, smoky bar. I inhaled deeply and thought about smiling. Maybe if I just thought about this as a vacation, rather than running for my life, it wouldn’t seem so bad. 

We didn’t get very far; two steps onto the sidewalk and three black sedans screeched to a halt on the road in front of us. A half dozen men in black suits jumped out, surrounding us before I registered what was going on. Hoseok grabbed my upper arm to pull me back to him, but the biggest guy of the group stepped up and squeezed his wrist, causing Hoseok to let go of me. The man was huge, a mountain of muscle, and despite Hoseok’s efforts, he couldn’t get out of his grasp. 

The rest of the men surrounded me. I looked back at Shownu, but he was just standing aside, looking slightly dumbstruck. Hoseok’s eyes were on me as he desperately tried to get away from the mountain guy. He kept saying my name, repeating the word ‘no.’ 

The oldest of the men around me was directly in front of me. He was starting to show wrinkles around his eyes, a little bit of grey peppering his hair, but he was still intimidating to look at. I didn’t want to be his enemy. He said my name as well, drawing my attention. “We are here to escort you to our boss. He would like an audience with you as soon as possible.”

“Who-who’s your boss?” I asked, trying not to sound as terrified as I felt and failing. 

He smiled, tilting his head to the side. “You’ll see.” He turned, sweeping out one hand to show that I was to get in the middle black car. The back door was open and waiting for me to disappear inside. “I must insist,” he added. “Your cooperation would be appreciated. We really don’t want to hurt anyone.”

I looked back over at Hoseok who couldn’t help but flinch when the monstrous man squeezed his injured hand. “Okay, okay,” I said, holding up my hands to stop him. “I’ll go.”

Hoseok was telling me not to do it, to try and run, escape, anything, but I tuned him out. I took a deep breath and stepped toward the black sedan, ready to find out who was going to so much trouble just to talk to me. 

Chapter 5

I had never appreciated the fact that I had my own car to drive until the privilege was taken away from me. Ever since this mess started, people had been driving me places, taking away all control over my destinations. It was contributing to the helpless feeling that was slowly taking over my life. I felt like a pawn being shuffled from place to place, with very little say in the matter.

At least with Hoseok I had been with someone I knew, someone I was fairly certain wouldn’t hurt me. Now I was vulnerable, with complete strangers, and I didn’t know what they were going to do with me. I tried to remain calm, but my heart was racing and my hands wouldn’t stop fidgeting in my lap.

The older man was sitting to my right, staring straight ahead, paying no attention to me. We pulled over after about ten minutes and he stepped out of the car, waiting for me to follow. What choice did I have?

I shielded my eyes from the harsh, bright sunlight as I stepped onto the sidewalk. There was another car parked in front of the black sedan; this one was a red hybrid of some sort, reminding me a lot of my own car I had at home. I was handed a mug of liquid by my captor and he insisted I drink it.

I looked at the contents skeptically. The older man smiled at me when he saw my concern. “It’s not poisoned. If we wanted to kill you, don’t you think you’d already be dead?”

He had a point, but I still hesitated. “Then why should I drink it?”

“We can’t have you know where we’re going. It will make you sleep, nothing more. It’s just a sedative.”

Just a sedative. Great, on top of everything else that had happened to me in the past few days, now I was supposed to drug myself? I stared at the liquid, my lips curling into a disgusted frown. The alternative was probably to have the big guy punch me in the head to knock me out. I considered it for a half a moment, at least I wouldn’t be complacent in my kidnapping if that happened. In the end, I downed the drink, a fruity flavored tea, sealing my fate into the hands of these strangers.

I was sleepy by the time I got into the red car. I desperately tried to keep my eyes open as we pulled from the curb, but it felt like they were weighted with lead; they kept closing at their own volition. I felt my head loll to the side, onto the old man’s shoulder, before everything went completely black and all time was lost.

~ * ~ * ~

I thought I might be drowning. I felt heavy pressure all around me and it was very difficult to breathe. There was a rushing sound in my ears and my eyelids were heavy drapes I couldn’t push aside. My instinct to live kicked in and I gasped for air, attempting to sit up and just breathe.

I only got so far. My eyes opened and my lungs filled with air, but I couldn’t sit up far before I was jerked back to a table by the restraints on my wrists. A quick twist of my body made me realize my legs were also strapped to the table. Everything was blurry around me, but from what I could tell the ceiling and walls were stark white and my nose was assaulted with an antiseptic smell, like I was in a hospital. 

A face appeared in my line of sight, someone looking over the top of me. He was a blurry, brown blob, but as I blinked rapidly my vision started to clear. He was smiling at me with perfectly straight teeth, slight dimples, and pretty eyes. His chocolate hair fell into his eyes as he started speaking to me, but I couldn’t hear properly yet so it all sounded like gibberish. I knew he had to be in his twenties, but he looked like he could have passed for fifteen. 

Finally, his words started to break through my drug induced haze. “Sorry about the straps, you kept falling off the bed. You weren’t sleeping very soundly.” He began undoing the restraints at my wrists so I could sit up. I rubbed my sleeping hands back into feeling, looking around the room.

It was set up like a doctor’s office, medical equipment and lab tables side by side, with one wall lined with bookcases. I recognized some of the medical texts from my own studies on the shelves. A look at the kid who untied me gave me a jolt of surprise. He was wearing a medical white lab coat, like a doctor, but there was no way he was old enough to be a real physician. 

He must have read my mind, because as he sat in a nearby swivel chair, he grinned at me. “It’s true, I am a doctor. I’m not as young as I look, but I can’t say I didn’t go through school quicker than your average person either. I’m somewhat of a genius,” he straightened his coat, preening like a peacock. He chuckled at my expression. “Really, I have an eidetic memory, so it’s less of a genius thing, and more of a born lucky thing.” 

I opened my mouth to speak, but words wouldn’t form. My mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton; swallowing was painful. Whatever sedative they had used was a strong one. 

Eidetic memory guy stood up in a rush to get me a glass of water. “Sorry, about that, you’re probably feeling like shit. My name is Dr. Im, but most around here call me Doc or just IM. We’re not big on formalities.”

The water was like a breath of life, not only hydrating me but kicking everything else into action as well. My unbound feet swung to the side of the bed so that I faced IM as I finished gulping the liquid in the glass. “Where am I?” 

He smiled again. “You know I can’t tell you that. The sedative would have been pointless otherwise.”

“I don’t mean specifically,” I clarified. “I mean, what is this place?”

“Ahh!” IM sat back in his chair with a nod. “This is the boss’s house. He’s got quite the maze of a place, a lot of different rooms for different things. This room is the sanctuary he built me in return for working for him. He wanted me to keep an eye on you, monitor you while you slept. You were out for a while.”

My hand went to my forehead where an ache was beginning behind my eye. The side effects of most strong drugs wearing off was some sort of a headache and I could tell I would be in for a doozie later on. “How long?”

“Almost 24 hours,” He stood then, shuffling papers on his desk. “The boss will want to know you’re awake.”

“Who’s your boss?” I asked, too dazed to focus on the fact that I had lost almost a full day of my life to a sedative. 

IM wagged a finger at me, “Too many questions are not good in this place,” he warned. “I’m a nice guy, but most of the others here are not. They won’t have patience for questions.” He found what he was looking for, his cellphone, under a stack of folders. He dialed a number, spoke in English to the person on the other end, informing them I was awake, before clicking the phone closed. “Don’t worry too much. There are strict orders not to hurt you. The boss is very insistent on that.”

He walked around the desk to stand in front of me, holding his hands out toward me, palms up. “Let’s practice walking, shall we? That way you won’t have to have one of those brutes carry you.”

I wasn’t sure why I trusted this doctor kid, but there was something about his eyes that made him seem genuine. He wasn’t lying, he wasn’t pulling punches, he was very matter of fact and truly seemed to mean what he said. I didn’t hesitate, my hands clasped his. He helped me stand up, but my legs weren’t used to the weight and I was still groggy from the drug. I collapsed into his arms and he caught me in a hug. 

He chuckled, patting my back with affection. “See, you’d much rather that happen with me than with one of the other guys around here.” He helped me regain my footing and after a minute or two I was able to walk normally without holding onto his hands. IM was encouraging and his smile was infectious so I found myself grinning despite my situation. 

Until men in suits came in to take me away. The atmosphere in the room changed immediately, from light amusement to dark anxiety. I didn’t recognize either man, their black suits impeccable, their expressions sullen and distant. IM pouted a lip out at me, saying goodbye with a tiny wave as I left. I felt like I was leaving safety and being led into a den of wolves. I had no clue what laid in store for me on the other side of the door.

One man walked in front of me, the other behind me. They led me through the labyrinth of hallways, down some stairs, and to the front of an ornate door. The building I was in could be anywhere; it could have been the inside of a giant house, or right in the heart of the city. There were no windows, no sounds, no indication of where we were; it was just nondescript hallways and doors. The door in front of me was wooden, with designs that were foreign to me, carved into the face and doorjamb. It was a door that was meant to impress the person about to enter. It was intimidating the hell out of me.

I looked at each man on either side of me, but they weren’t looking back. Neither made a move to open the door. I must have to be the one to do it. Wondering for the one hundredth time in the past few days when my life turned into an action/suspense movie, I turned the knob and entered.

My heart was pounding so loud it was the only thing I could hear. My stomach had a thousand butterflies swarming around, my adrenaline decided now was a good time to kick in so I could see and feel everything. The cold air of the room on my skin was magnified, the edge of my ponytail tickling my neck was distracting. The room was lit by an overhead chandelier that looked like it was hundreds of years old, and expensive to boot. There were white, fan-shaped sconces along the wooden paneled walls that provided a little more light, but overall the room was thrown in intricate shadows that were difficult to see past.

My hands were trembling, and that thing stuck in my throat? That was terror. I wasn’t built to be a gangster, a fighter, a person who had to negotiate for her life. That wasn’t who I was, yet I felt like I was now in that position. I had no clue what to expect, or what this person wanted from me, much less how I was going to provide it. The fear of the unknown was the most terrifying.

It smelled of wood polish, like lemon Pledge had just been wiped across everything. There was a lot of wood in the room, the panelling on the walls, the floor, the furniture. It was a sitting room of some sort, with couches and chairs in a circle near where I walked in, all black with wood bases. Farther in the room was in shadow, but I was pretty sure I could make out a pool table, and maybe a few card tables with chairs. 

My eyes were adjusting to the dim light. I could see someone walking in the darker side of the room, pacing. I could feel his eyes on me, even though I couldn’t see him. He was watching me, staring, waiting.

With no idea what else to do, I jammed my hands into my fitted hoodie pockets and sat in the nearest overstuffed chair, facing the guy pacing. I assumed he was ‘the boss,’ the one that was after my dad and had been trying to kidnap me. I wondered why he didn’t speak. I was too scared to talk, so the two of us were in a near silent room, the only sound the clicking of his footsteps as he paced.

When he said my name I was startled. I knew the voice, though I couldn’t immediately place it. I knew this person? Was it someone from work? Maybe a patient I had treated for a long period of time? I couldn’t be certain, but now I really wanted to see his face. “I’ve missed you,”

Time froze when he spoke and stepped into the light so I could see his face. His hair was lighter, messier, but I would recognize him with my eyes closed. My heart literally skipped a beat, and black sparks danced on the edge of my vision as I tried not pass out from shock. Tall and lanky, he looked almost identical to how he was three years ago.

Hyungwon.

My brother that I had attended a funeral for; my brother that I went to visit at his memorial sight once a month for the past three years. My dead, died in a car accident, brother was standing before me, very much alive, very much breathing.

He was in khakis and a black button up shirt, looking handsome as always. He wasn’t smiling, he had never been one to grin a lot, but his eyes showed that he was happy to see me. His hair was almost blond, a color that actually suited him well. He didn’t look sick, he didn’t look injured, he just looked like...Hyungwon. 

“Your mouth is hanging open, little sister,” he said, sitting in the chair opposite me. 

I was staring at him agape, it was true, but it was difficult to shut my mouth. I was in absolute awe, dumbstruck at the sight before me. Fear was gone, replaced by confusion. What in the hell was going on?

“I can see you’re confused. Understandable.” He crossed his legs and folded his hands in his lap, every movement very deliberate. “It was very sweet of you to visit my ashes every month. I was truly touched.”

All I could do was blink. My dead brother was not only alive, he had been around, in Seoul, the whole time. Why was he in hiding? Why hadn’t he ever contacted me before this? Was my mom still alive, too?

I must have been poor at hiding my feelings from showing on my face, because everyone seemed to read my mind. Hyungwon’s lips pressed together as his expression turned solemn. “No, mom actually died in the crash. We were both supposed to die, it was a hit put out on the two of us from one of dad’s competitors, but I survived. He was an untalented assassin who didn’t do his job.” As an afterthought he added, “He was probably cheap though.” 

I inhaled, suddenly remembering I had to keep breathing to live. The momentary surge of hope at the thought of my mother being alive was squelched by his words. “Why,” I choked on the word.

He sighed, a sad sound. “Three years ago, father was the go-to person in the arms trade. He was number one in Korea, for both foreign governments and black markets alike. He got big. Too big. Someone wanted to put him in his place. So there was a hit put out on his wife and heir.”

Tears welled up in my eyes, blurring my vision as I felt my heart break inside my chest. Feelings were overwhelming me as I sat there, taking in the vision of my brother, hearing how my mother was murdered, and how everything Hoseok had told me about my father was true. My entire life I had been lied to by everybody who mattered to me, about things that were important. This wasn’t a life filled with little white lies. This was big picture stuff, making my whole existance feel like it wasn’t ever reality.

“The accident didn’t leave me unscarred,” he continued. “My back was injured and I am in constant pain. My lungs were damaged by smoke inhalation, so I need breathing treatments once a week. It was too risky to go to a hospital every week, so I hired Dr. Im to take care of me. In turn, I fund his research projects. This has let me keep a low profile, while slowly infiltrating the arms business incognito. And during that time I have observed,”

Hyungwon leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and placing his palms together, like he was praying. “I have watched our father from the sidelines. He doesn’t know I’m alive either, so he went back to his day-to-day life, and I have watched. He’s not a good person. He makes deals with terrible people, all in the name of money. In the past three years I have watched, and grown to despise him.”

“I don’t understand,” I said, shaking my head. “Why didn’t you tell us you were alive?”

“I wanted to,” he insisted. “But father had moved on so quickly, I thought for a while he had something to do with the accident.”

“Dad would never-” I was appalled.

“That’s the thing,” he interrupted, pointing at me with both index fingers. “He would. You don’t know that, but he is the type of man that would do just that.” He tilted his head, dropping his arms as he sat back in his chair. “Which is why he needs to go.”

“Go?” I asked, not really wanting to hear the answer to that question.

Hyungwon made a whistling sound with a swoosh of his hand across his throat. He was honestly talking about killing our father. “He can’t be allowed to go on like this.”

“Then have him arrested,” I insisted, sitting forward. The shock of his revelation of being alive was wearing off, and now I was getting upset. My brother was casually talking about murdering dad. “If he’s doing illegal things, then call the police. What’s up with all this cloak and dagger, kidnapping nonsense?”

Hyungwon tilted his head back and forth a few times, more amused at my words than anything. “It doesn’t work that way, dear sister. You’re so innocent. I wish I could have let you stay, living in your ignorance.” He stood, coming closer, sitting on the edge of a couch right near me. He placed a hand on my knee. “He’s got attornies and half the police department in his back pocket. The only way to stop him, is to get rid of him.”

I was shaking my head before he even finished talking. “You’re talking about murder,”

He tipped his head to the side, a smile dancing on his lips. “It wouldn’t be my first.”

I resisted the urge to jerk back from his touch. This wasn’t my brother. My sweet older brother that would sword fight with me using sticks from the backyard when we were kids. My kind older brother that braided my hair for me when I was having a bad day. My dear older brother that confessed his crushes from school to me because he was too embarrassed to talk to his friends about girls. That was the older brother I remembered, the one I loved. 

My brother must have died three years ago; this reincarnation was a monster. “Hyungwon,” I whispered. “You’re crazy.”

His expression dampened, his fingers biting in my knee now. “I brought you here to protect you. I want to do this with you. You and I can pick up where dad left off, but better. We won’t arm the bad guys, we’ll deal with the good guys exclusively. We can do this, as soon as dad is out of the way.”

I frowned, my eyebrows drawing together in disbelief. “What are you talking about? Do you hear the words you are saying?” I tried to pry his hand from my knee with no success. “I don’t want any part of this.” I wasn’t sure why he wanted me to be part of his plan, but from the slightly off look in his eye, I was starting to think he might be a little insane. 

With his free hand, he gently grabbed my chin and pulled my face toward him a few inches. “You’re my sister. The only person in this world I care about,” he said softly. “But don’t get me wrong. If you aren’t with me...you’re against me. And my enemies don’t usually last very long.” 

All I wanted to do was yank my head away from him, punch him in his smug face, and run away as fast as I could. I forced my muscles to stay still, but i couldn’t bring myself to say anything. I kept reminding myself that at some point I wouldn’t be in the same room as him and I could start thinking about escape. I stared into his eyes, holding his gaze without backing down. 

Despite the fact that this was a crazy man in front of me, I could see a tiny hint of my brother in his eyes. There was something in the way he looked at me that told me he didn’t want to hurt me; he wouldn’t hurt me if I didn’t give him a reason to.

So I kept quiet. I wanted to try and talk reason to him, but the set of his jaw told me he wasn’t going to negotiate. He let go of me, sinking slowly back into the cushions of the couch he was on. “I hope you understand me...little sister.”

I couldn’t speak, so I nodded my head, my entire body feeling numb and disconnected. I didn’t understand him at all, but right now I just needed to escape that room, get away from him, and think. I couldn’t think properly with him staring at me, watching and analyzing my every move. I would agree to just about anything he said, if only I could leave.

A smile returned to his lips and for a second I recognized my big brother. “Good. Dr. Im wanted to check you over one more time before I have you taken to your new room, just to be safe.” He stood briskly and walked over to open the door to the hallway. “Sorry about the sedative, but caution that extreme has kept me alive so far,” he added.

When I saw the door open, I felt like I could breathe again. I stood, anxious to get out of the room that suddenly seemed too small for the all objects in it. As I passed by Hyungwon, he reached out and pulled me into an embrace. I couldn’t quite call it a hug, although I do think he meant it with affection. He smelled like my brother, he felt like my brother, but I knew this was just the hollow shell of the man I once thought of as the best guy in the world. I wrapped my arms around him out of habit, feeling a tear slide down my cheek as I realized that my brother was just as lost to me now as he had been three years ago. 

He said no more as we parted, and I didn’t look back when I left. My thoughts were chaotic, a whirlwind, and my brain was trying to sort through all the information. I found myself back in IM’s lab room before I knew it. As soon as my escorts left, IM began shuffling around the room, throwing things into a duffle bag.

This was not normal doctor behavior. I frowned at him, still not one hundred percent focused on what was going on because my mind was still back in that sitting room, going over the conversation I just had with Hyungwon. “What are you doing?”

IM didn’t pause. “We have to get ready, it’s going to happen any second now.”

I blinked a few times as his words processed through my brain at a snail’s pace. I left behind the sitting room conversation and attempted to focus on the cute doctor still shoving papers and weapons into the duffle bag...wait weapons?

“What is going to happen?” I asked, feeling like I was speaking in slow motion, like I had suddenly landed myself in a dream. He was moving so fast, I found it hard to focus. Had I been drugged again? Or was the kick of adrenaline I got from seeing my dead sibling wearing off so quickly that fatigue was taking over? I couldn’t be sure.

IM stopped, throwing the bag over his shoulder and standing in front of me. He grabbed my upper arms with both his hands and grinned widely. “Your rescue.”

The lights were suddenly gone, and everything went dark.

Chapter 6

I froze in the sudden absence of light, grateful for IM’s hands on my arms. He was standing close enough that I could feel his presence and somehow, even though he was a stranger, that comforted me. All evidence pointed to him working for my brother, yet his mention of rescue made me trust him. Though who, exactly, was coming to save me?

The lights blinked back on a minute later. IM and I hadn’t moved from our position and he was staring at me, asking me if I was ok. I was honestly too overwhelmed with emotions to feel any distinct one, so I nodded at him. When we turned toward the door to leave, we stopped dead in our tracks, surprised at someone blocking our way.

He was taller than both of us, lanky and lean, dressed in all black, with a gun strapped to his thigh. He had on a black baseball cap with wild, blonde hair sticking out at odd angles, his eyes full of mischief and a toothy grin on his face. He waved at both of us when we saw him.

“Hello. My name is Minhyuk, and I’ll be your tour guide for this rescue mission,” he said brightly. Somewhere deep in the building it sounded like a bomb went off, causing the walls to shudder and the door to rattle.

Minhyuk held up one hand in the direction the sound came from. “That would Shownu and his new gadget that Kihyun made for him. It blows little things up very effectively.”

I blinked in awe at this guy. He was talking like a cruise director, smiling like this was an everyday occurrence. Was he for real?

There was gun fire that could be heard, a little closer, but from the other side of the building. Minhyuk swept a hand in that direction. “That would be Jooheon, testing out the newly gold plated pistols he won from a poker game.” 

Right outside the door was the muffled sound of someone getting hit, the scuffling of a fight, and then a thud as someone hit the ground. Minhyuk smiled directly at me, stepping away from the door as it opened. “And that, is our fearless leader, the grand designer of this escape plan.”

Hoseok stepped in the door, looking like a warrior. He had on dark clothes, weapons strapped to different parts of his body, sweat gleaming on his skin. There was blood on his arm, but it didn’t look like it was his; other than his still-wrapped hand, he looked uninjured. 

Not caring that my life was turning into a bad action movie, I ran to him, so happy to see him I forgot that I was angry at him for lying to me. He wrapped me in his arms, and I buried my nose in his chest. His scent mixed with sweat was comforting. It was the safest I had felt in days. Despite everything that had happened to me, everything he done to me, he was the one I trusted.

“Hoseok,” Minhyuk said, clearing his throat. “I know you’re happy to see each other, but we can’t be still any longer.”

I felt him nod. The rush of cool air as our bodies separated devastated me. I wanted to cling to him, to melt into him, to make everything in the world go away except the two of us. But, we were in the middle of an escape, and every second wasted was a second someone could get hurt. There would be time for hugs later. Now, we had to worry about surviving.

Hoseok pushed me gently toward Minhyuk. “Go with Hyuk and IM, they’ll get you to safety,” he said.

“What about you?” I tried to reach for his hand but he dodged me. 

He shook his head. “Don’t worry. There’s a plan. We’ll all meet up soon.” He turned to walk out the door.

“Hoseok!” I called. He hesitated before turning around to look at me, probably thinking I was going to ask him not to go. I wanted him to stay, but I knew my pleas would fall on deaf ears. Instead, I said, “It’s Hyungwon.”

He nodded again, his mouth turning into a thin line. “I know,” he replied. Then he was gone.

“C’mon,” Minhyuk grabbed my wrist, wasting no more time. He led me through the maze of hallways like a pro, IM on our heels. Gunshots and fighting could be heard, punctuated by occasional bomb-like sounds, but we didn’t see any of it. Our path to the entryway was unhindered.

The foyer was huge, with a vaulted ceiling and two sets of curved stairs that led down to a door I assumed went outside. The floor was black and white checked, lit by a crystal chandelier that hung from the third story. Our feet made loud taps as we hurried down the wooden staircase. I couldn’t believe that we were going to make it out without anyone stopping us.

Of course, my relief was short lived. As Minhyuk stepped off the last step, a half dozen men appeared in the foyer, all in black suits with zero facial expressions. The big guy who had kept Hoseok from saving me a day ago was the one blocking the door. This escape just got more difficult. 

My escorts wasted no time in engaging. Minhyuk’s attempt to grab his gun was thwarted by a henchman’s attempted punch; Minhyuk had to use his hand to block it. He countered with his own fist, but had to pull back at the last second because the big guy joined in.

IM lept over the banister railing behind me to engage a man coming from that direction. The man was so startled by IM’s sudden appearance it only took an elbow to the face and a sweep of IM’s leg to his feet to knock him to the ground. By the sound his head made when hitting the tile floor, he was out of the fight. One down, five to go. 

I wasn’t sure why the henchmen didn’t have guns, but I was grateful because otherwise this would have been a short fight. All I could do to contribute was watch in amazement as the kid who was a doctor traded blows with a man twice his size. IM was holding his own, but a nearby bad guy was about to join in.

In front of me, Minhyuk had subdued the first man he had fought but was now on the ground, on his back, trying to keep the big guy from strangling him. The sixth guy was ignoring all the fighting and heading toward me. This wasn’t going well. I couldn’t stand and watch. I had to help.

I didn’t think, I just acted; trusting my instinct to survive to guide me. I stepped forward and kicked the closest thing presented to me: the big guy’s head. I had never physically hurt a person before, but the fight or flight adrenaline rush masked my remorse so I couldn’t feel it. All I knew was that I had to protect the two guys helping me. My kick wasn’t very hard, but he wasn’t expecting it. It was a enough for Minhyuk to use it to his advantage and get ahold of his knife, slashing it toward the big guy while rolling him off. 

I didn’t pause to see the outcome of that fight; I looked for a weapon because the last guy was getting close to me. Out of the corner of my eye I could see IM, he was fighting one guy with another guy rolling on the ground, crying in pain. There was nothing around me to use as a weapon, so I started backing up the stairs, ready to kick this guy in the face if he got too close. I would fight him if I had to, but I had no idea how.

A gunshot rang out, echoing across the large ceilings. Startled, I jumped and froze, unsure of who shot the gun and who was shot. The guy in front of me slumped to the side, falling to the ground at the foot of the stairs; he was the one who took the bullet. I turned to look at the top of the stairs. Jooheon, with his gold plated gun, was standing there, grinning at me. 

I turned back to the foyer, worried about the other two. Minhyuk was scrambling away from the big guy’s very still body, heading toward IM, who was still fighting with the last henchman standing. So far, IM had been fighting well, but now he looked injured, like his leg didn’t want to support him. 

It didn’t matter, however, because Minhyuk pulled out his gun and shot the man point blank. As I felt a sense of relief flood over me, I realized how messed up I was. I was happy because these people I knew just injured and/or killed six people. These were the people I was considering my friends. I was friends with criminals, killers. I should be horrified at the blood and bodies in front of me. I wasn’t.

Then again, I just found out I was from a family of criminals, and apparently murderers. I was now in a life that I should have been living since the beginning, I just never knew it. Maybe that’s why it was so easy to accept? That, and it seemed these people actually cared about my life and saving it.

Jooheon was taking the stairs two at a time behind me. He swept an arm around my back to usher me down, helping me step over the bodies at the bottom. Minhyuk and IM met us there, Minhyuk bleeding from his arm, and IM limping. 

They attempted to get me out the door but I stopped them. “Shownu? Hoseok?” I asked.

Jooheon shook his head. “They’ll be coming soon, don’t worry about them. You guys are running late, according to the plan. We need to get you out of here, quickly.” 

My name was screamed across the foyer, causing all four of us to jump and turn to look at the balcony at the top of the stairs. Hyungwon was there, an expression of rage on his face. “If you leave,” he called. “You will regret it.” 

“She can’t stay,” Hoseok appeared from behind my brother, his gun pointed at Hyungwon’s head. “She has another engagement,” he said as he circled around the side. 

Hyungwon’s hands went up to his sides when he realized the gun was there. “You can’t have her,” he told Hoseok. “She’s my sister. She’ll always be loyal to blood first.”

I could see Hoseok’s smile even from this distance. “You keep thinking that,” he told Hyungwon. “But for now, she’s coming with us.”

Hyungwon’s head fell forward and he collapsed in a heap to reveal Shownu standing behind him. Shownu looked at Hoseok, “Are you sure we can’t just kill him?”

Hoseok shook his head, holstering his gun. “He’s a creep, but he’s her brother. We have standards.” 

Shownu looked down into the foyer where the four of us were. “What are you still doing here?”

Minhyuk swept his arms around to indicate the black and white checked floor littered with bodies. “We got held up.”

Hoseok and Shownu came down the stairs, one down each side. “We have to go,” Shownu said. “The police will be here any second.” 

“Our timing is a bit off,” Jooheon scratched the back of his head.

“We still won, as long as we go now,” Hoseok replied, putting his hand on my lower back and pushing me toward the door. “Right now.” 

~ * ~ * ~

Hyungwon had been living in a large mansion-like house outside of Seoul. We were going back into the city where Kihyun was waiting for us. Shownu drove, with Jooheon in the passenger seat of the van. Minhyuk and IM were in the middle, leaving Hoseok and I in the back seat. The van was silent except for the hum of the engine and the sound of an occasional car passing us. I could see the back of everyone’s heads; they were all looking out their respective windows, lost in thought.

I knew I could never be an adrenaline junkie, a person who was always searching for that next natural high. I had had a lot of adrenaline kicks over the past few days, and while I could appreciate how they numbed my pain and sharpened my senses, the fall afterward was debilitating. Even though I knew I had recently slept for 24 hours, I was exhausted again. Every muscle begged me not to move, and my eyelids seemed impossible to keep open. I wanted to sleep for 24 months. 

Hoseok had ahold of my hand, but he must have noticed my head bobbing because he pulled me closer to him and tilted my head toward his shoulder with his free, bandaged hand. I was too tired to even think about fighting him. My head dropped and I was out like a light, thankful for not having to think; welcoming the black void.

It felt like minutes later when he gently shook me awake. The van was parked in a structure and everyone was piling out. I was informed we were going to a hotel, one of the largest in the city. Jooheon had set us up with a suite there, but it would be too conspicuous to all walk in as a large group. We made plans to space out our entrance, Hoseok taking my hand again and pulling me away as soon as he could. 

When we were out of everyone’s line of sight, he held me out at arm’s length, his eyes searching my entire body. “Are you ok? Are you hurt?”

I frowned at him. “I’m fine.” 

His eyes locked with mine. “You’re sure? If you’re injured-”

“I’m fine, Hoseok,” I insisted. “My brother didn’t want to hurt me.”

“But his men didn’t care who they hurt,” he reminded me. Satisfied I was okay, he pulled me into a hug. “I don’t know what I’d do if they hurt you.”

“You don’t have to worry about that, because I’m fine,” I reminded him. I wrapped my arms around his waist, inside his jacket. I could feel his gun graze my arm. That would have freaked me out three days ago. Today, it made me feel safe. 

“You know I’m never letting you out of my sight,” he murmured into the top of my head. I shivered at the way his lips tickled my hair. I pressed my cheek into his chest, wanting to to be as close as possible to him.

“I know,” I whispered back. 

“How are you feeling?”

It was a very specific question, even though at it’s core, it seemed vague. I exhaled slowly, searching my feelings to answer truthfully. “Confused,” I said, before adding, “Sad.”

“We didn’t know it was Hyungwon. He did a good job of remaining dead to everyone. When IM contacted us, it was a surprise to us all,” Hoseok told me. “It’s a long story, but so far with a good ending. Everyone’s in one piece.” 

I might be in one piece physically, but emotionally I was all over the place. I was having a hard time figuring out where I fit in all of this, in this new world that I had been thrust into, even though I had been living it the whole time without realizing it. My brain was too fried and fuzzy to handle it. Right now, all I wanted was sleep.

We went to a convenience store and got some juice before heading over to the hotel. The suite was on the top floor. When we got inside, everyone was already there, sitting around the livingroom area of the room. It was more like an apartment than a hotel room with couches set up around a TV, a little dining and kitchen area, and two doors on either side of the main room. 

Kihyun stood up, marched over, and wrapped me in a brief, tight hug. Before I could bring my arms up to hug him back, he turned on his heel and went back to sit down between Minhyuk and Jooheon. I blinked a few times, but decided that it was the most affection he had shown toward me and pointing it out would make him angry, so I didn’t say a word.

Hoseok and I were invited to sit, but I didn’t want to. The couch looked super comfy; if i sat on it I knew I would never get back up. However, I did go and try to treat Minhyuk’s arm; it had been nagging at the back of my head since we got in the van. He stopped me, however, stating that IM had already taken care of it. 

I looked over at the young doctor, remembering his limp. “How about your leg? Do you need me to look at it?”

IM waved me off, “Nope. I just twisted my knee. I’ll rest it up, it will be fine again in a few days.”

I frowned at him, knowing full well that doctors were the worst patients, but I was also too tired to argue. I did want to know, however, how he was involved with this gang of hoodlums, so I asked. 

Kihyun was the one to answer. “That’s the funny thing,” he said. “IM’s been part of our team since he’s been in med school. When he graduated, he was sent to get employed, undercover, with your father. Then, just like that,” he snapped his fingers. “He was gone. One day we were in contact, the next, he was silent.” Kihyun shrugged. “I figured he wanted out and found a way.”

IM gave him a lopsided grin. “When I wasn’t hired by her father, I was immediately picked up by Hyungwon’s men. He really wanted a doctor that didn’t mind breaking the rules. When I found out how paranoid he was, I knew I couldn’t contact you until I had something worth leaving over. Turns out,” IM turned to look at me. “You were thing that was worth it.” 

I chewed my bottom lip while I listened to them talk. It was like they were talking about movie actors, people I didn’t know, not my brother and father. Undercover work, breaking rules, paranoid criminals...it was not easy to grasp as my reality. Still, I knew more than anything, that I was grateful to IM for contacting Kihyun as soon as he could when I was taken. “Thank you,” I told him sincerely.

Jooheon motioned at the doors around the room. “There are four bedrooms, they all have king sized beds, so we have to double up. But each one has it’s own bathroom, so we don’t have to worry about that.” He yawned loudly before finishing. “We can stay here as long as we need, but I don’t think staying in one place is the best plan. We should leave in a day or two.”

Everyone nodded their agreement before divvying up rooms. IM suggested I take the room by myself since I was the only girl, but Hoseok refused. “She’s not leaving my sight,” he told them. In the end, Minhyuk and IM were in one room, Jooheon and Shownu next to them. Kihyun got the single room, and Hoseok and I headed toward our bedroom for the night.

All I wanted to do was collapse into bed, but I felt disgusting so I decided to take a shower. Without many words, I stripped in the bathroom and turn the water on as high as I could stand. Stepping into the water was a little bit like stepping into heaven. The room was already steamed up, and I led the scalding drops wash away my stress along with everything else. I had a momentary wish that I never had to leave that shower, that I could just spend all day in there, steaming away the bad, letting the last few days go down the drain.

The next thing I knew, I wasn’t alone in the shower. I turned just as Hoseok stepped into the stall shower that was sized just right to fit two people in it snugly. I blinked at him a few times, surprised he was being so bold. We had seen each other naked hundreds of times; this wouldn’t be the first shower we took together. Yet, that felt like a lifetime ago, a different set of people in a separate universe. I didn’t feel uncomfortable, more like I felt exposed, vulnerable.

“What are you doing?” I asked, wiping water from my eyes.

“I’m taking a shower,” he stated the obvious.

My lips tilted down into a slight frown. “Couldn’t you wait? I just got in.”

He reached up behind me, grabbing the small bottle of shampoo from the shelf. He squeezed some into his hand. “I know,” he replied. “But if you think I’m going to let you out of my sight for a second, you’re mistaken.” He put his soapy hands on my hair and started massaging my head. “I lost you once. It won’t happen again,” 

He was literally washing my hair for me, like I was a little kid. The strong, independant woman side of me wanted to protest; he lost the right to touch me when I found out he was lying about his identity.

That was a tiny voice of protest, however. The rest of me wanted him to never stop touching me. I closed my eyes, wrapped my arms around him, and let him wash my hair. I was too tired to fight, and honestly, his hands were magic whenever they touched me. 

He leaned me back to rinse out my hair, pausing to plant kisses here and there on my neck and face. At first, I tried to hold onto the thread of anger that still existed within me, the irritation with him I felt from his lies. That was a useless, futile fight. The touch of his lips on my skin vanquished all negative thoughts about him. I reached up to pull his head toward me, suddenly wanting nothing more than to taste him.

He stopped me at the last second, refusing to let his lips touch my own. He smirked at me, but didn’t say a word. I was exhausted, the scalding water and warm steam making me too weak to argue. Instead, the next twenty minutes was a mixture of soap, hands, and giggles; it was a lot cleaner than an engaged couple in a shower ought to be. 

Wrapped in towels, finally feeling refreshed with a sense of peace, I almost made it to the chair that my pajamas were on. Almost. Instead, I was tackled to the bed, a still damp Hoseok, sans towel, on top of me, all smiles. 

“What are you so happy about?” I asked, intending to push him off me, but instead my fingers (those traitors!) scratched lightly up and down his back. 

“I don’t think you understand,” he said, staring into my eyes, into my soul. “I thought I had lost you. You got in that car and I wasn’t sure I was ever going to see you again. I have spent my whole life not having to care about people, because people never cared about me. Then there was you.” He was on top of me, resting on his forearms on either side of my head. His hands traced along my temples, my ears, my neck, while his eyes followed their progress. “I never cared about someone like I care about you. It’s strange for me. And I want to protect it, protect what we have. Protect you…” he trailed off. He turned his head and dropped it on my chest, his wet hair tickling my chin and lips, the pressure of his cheek weighing down on me. “When they took you away, I couldn’t.”

I was a mess of emotions, lying diagonally on a bed with my spy? assassin? criminal? sort-of fiancé with only a towel between the two of us. I wanted to cry about my brother, I wanted to lament about my father, I wanted to be angry because of all the lies and deceit, I wanted to sleep from exhaustion, and I wanted to forget about it all and go back to the way things were. I wanted Hoseok’s hands to touch me. It had been too long since we had been together. That was the emotion my brain decided to fixate on; my adoration and love for the man that risked his life to save me. 

We must have had the same thought at the same time, because he tilted his head so his lips were on my skin. His kisses seared their way across my body, light touches that set me on fire. My fingernails raked his back, my hands tangled in his hair, while his lips and tongue didn’t ignore a single inch of my body.

Even though he was now Hoseok and I was now the daughter of a criminal empire, we weren’t strangers to each other. His fingers locked with mine, bringing my hands over my head, as he trailed nips and kisses up to my face. My body responded to his, the two of us more than familiar with each other. My own lips found their favorite places to bite and lick on him until, finally, his smiling mouth met my own.

I wish I could describe Hoseok’s kisses to an extent that gave them justice. They were made of sunshine and light, always stirring up a feeling of joy and happiness inside me. At the same time, they tore through me, exposing my soul and rendering me breathless. He was adorably cute, and dangerously sexy at the same time. My head didn’t stand a chance against what he made my heart feel.

I wanted to touch him, but he had my hands pinned above my head and he wasn’t letting them loose. I arched my back, which caused his lips to leave mine and a growl of desire escaped him near my ear. He was trying to take things slow, to be patient and conscientious of me. He hadn’t realized that I had lost all my patience. I murmured his name, his real name, and he was suddenly as impatient as I was.

Sometime later (minutes? days? time had lost all relevance) we were lying in bed, facing each other, a tangle of limbs and smiles, happy just to be existing in a small cocoon, together. The past few days was a memory pushed aside in order to be in the moment, to find some sort of happiness in all the pain and destruction. We both knew it was a temporary illusion, but neither one of us was ready to break the facade. 

I was dozing in his arms; I could feel his eyes watching me. I knew he was scared to sleep, worried I would somehow disappear on him again. I had no way of reassuring him because I didn’t know myself what tomorrow would bring. I wanted to say something comforting, but I was half asleep and not in control of the words that spilled from my mouth.

“I love you.”

My own words startled me awake. We stared at each other with wide eyes, both shocked. I had said those words to him before, countless times, when he was Wonho. Now that he was Hoseok, I wasn’t sure how I felt about any of it. Apparently, however, I was more insightful to my own feelings subconsciously than I gave myself credit for. 

I thought about taking it back, or qualifying the words. In the end, I let them stand. Hoseok or Wonho, those were just names. I knew the person he was, and whether I wanted to or not, my heart was in love. The words weren’t a lie.

His lips quirked into a Cheshire cat smile. Not to be outdone, he replied, “I love and adore you.”

I pulled him closer and he hugged me to his bare chest. Overwhelmed by his scent, his closeness, his skin at my cheek, I sighed contently, my eyes slipping closed. “Okay, I’ll let you win...this time.”

Chapter 7

The next morning came too soon. I was content to lie in bed for the rest of the day, Hoseok draped over me like he was now, escaping reality in his arms. In the end, however, I decided not to delay the inevitable and rolled from the warmth of his embrace into the cool morning air outside of the blankets. As I threw on clothes, I watched him burrow under the covers, mumbling incoherent protests at being woken up.

I smiled at the lump that was him in the bed and forced myself to exit the room before I jumped back in with him. The smell of fresh brewed coffee hit me as soon as I walked into the common room, perking me up immediately. I could see the back of Jooheon and Kihyun’s heads on the couch; the other three weren’t in sight. I poured myself some coffee, added a little sugar, and warmed my hands with the mug as I went over to stand behind the two on the couch. 

They were watching the news intently; neither one of them had noticed me yet. My eyes slipped from the top of their heads to the screen slowly, wondering why they were so interested. It only took me a few seconds to realize why it had their undivided attention. 

It was showing Hyungwon’s house, the house we escaped from last night. There were cops and firemen everywhere, ambulance sirens muffled in the background of the reporter talking. There were people being led away by police, gurneys with covered bodies being rolled by in the background. However, the reporter didn’t mention anything about Hyungwon. That should be the lead story, right? A man back from the dead, the leader of the obvious criminal ring that was being run out of that house, would he be mentioned at the very least?

“Did I miss it?” I asked, sipping my coffee to cover the uneasiness that was creeping up my spine.

Kihyun looked at me, reluctant to take his eyes from the screen. “Hyungwon’s arrest? Nope. No mention of your brother,” he said, turning back to the TV.

The three of us watched the report, searching the background for any sign of Hyungwon. Nothing. No mention of him, no picture of him. The news moved on to other stories and I walked around to sit in one of the side chairs, facing Jooheon and Kihyun. I set my coffee on the table, unable to keep the worry from my face. “Nothing?”

Jooheon looked at Kihyun, who looked neutral as he always did. Kihyun shrugged; he knew as much as we did about it. “I’ll look on the Internet, but I’m pretty sure he got away or they would have talked about it.” 

Hoseok stumbled out of the bedroom at that moment, looking like he was still sleeping. He leaned on the counter as he poured his coffee into a mug and took a big swig of it. Blinking owlishly, he joined our group, sitting on the arm of my chair. “Why is everyone looking so depressed?” he asked.

Jooheon explained the news report we just watched. Hoseok looked confused at first, but as the coffee hit his system and Jooheon’s words sank in, he started to look worried. “How could he get away? He was out cold and the police were there right after we left. He didn’t have time.”

“He must have had help,” Kihyun replied. “Someone we missed, some secret way out, something we didn’t plan on.”

“Then we need to leave now,” Hoseok said, standing. “The first thing he’ll do is come after her.” 

We must have been loud enough to wake up the others in the bedrooms because doors were opening and everyone was suddenly in the livingroom in various states of dress, mostly looking half asleep, and asking questions. The next twenty minutes was spent calming people down, explaining the news story, and arguing over what to do next. I said nothing during all of it, letting the scene play out in front of me. My added voice would only create more chaos, plus I had no clue what the next step should be. 

The only thing everyone agreed on was that I should leave the country as soon as possible. Whether it was permanent or not remained up to debate, but that could be decided later. Right now everyone was worried that Hyungwon would try and kidnap me again, and this time he wouldn’t be so forgiving. 

Jooheon was on his phone, discussing money matters, trying to come up with cash. Hoseok and IM were arguing about where I should go, what country would be safest for me to disappear in. Kihyun was on his laptop with Shownu looking over his shoulder. Minhyuk was the only one to approach me and ask what I thought.

What did I think? My heart was racing from the anxiety of the unknown, but I didn’t know what to feel about my brother. Hyungwon had always been someone I loved, looked up to, even after he was dead; he was always my dear older brother in my heart. I was barely having time to process that he had turned into someone completely different, someone I didn’t recognize. I still had the feeling of wanting to save him, help him; that he could be snapped out of this crazy state he was in. 

At the same time I was terrified of the person he had become. I had seen the insanity in his eyes, and I was next to positive that the Hyungwon I had grown up with was gone for good. The person he was now was a stranger, someone I had no desire to know. The fact that he had kidnapped me before, and was probably planning on trying it again, was terrifying.

I blinked at Minhyuk, words not forming for a few seconds. “I’m trying not to think about it,” I finally said.

His smile was sympathetic. “From what I’ve heard, you’ve had a lot thrown at you in the past few days. I’m surprised you're not a neurotic mess. You’re holding up well, so be proud of that.” 

I looked around at each person in the room, all these men in their own little whirlwinds of chaos, trying to do whatever they could to help me. It made me smile. “Only because I’ve had all of them,” I told Minhyuk. “I don’t know what would have happened without them.” My eyes landed on Hoseok last, remembering the moment all this started. I was getting dragged out of the apartment and he saved me. He did a lot to save me the past few days. There was no rational reason to doubt how much he cared about me

“I would say you’re lucky,” Minhyuk followed my gaze. “But that wouldn’t sound right considering all the circumstances.” He looked back at me. “You know, people in our line of work don’t usually team up. We have our handlers, or contacts, but we’re not social people. We’re typically lone wolves.” He reached up one hand to rub the back of his neck as he talked. “I think the thing that appeals to everyone about this, the reason we’re willing to team up, is the extent that Hoseok is willing to go for you. He’s one of us, but he has someone worth risking it all for.” He paused, his cheeks turning pink, his eyes dropping to the ground. “It gives us hope, that there is something, someone, worth fighting for.” 

I could feel my own cheeks heat up at his words. I was just a person, a girl with a job and a normal life, before all this happened. I wasn’t sure I was worth risking one’s life over, but his words still made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. It was nice to think about how my relationship brought people together, forged deeper friendships, and created hope. That was a compliment I wasn’t sure how to live up to.

We were interrupted then by Hoseok. Kihyun had decided on a destination, Jooheon had cash in transit, and our flight was leaving soon. I wasn’t sure how they had all gone from arguing to making a decision without me noticing, but I had been pretty caught up in Minhyuk and I’s talk. Hoseok’s smile was forced, his eyes were betraying his worry, but he was insistent everything was going to be ok. We just had to leave. Now.

The ride to the airport wasn’t very long. Jooheon drove Kihyun, Hoseok, and I; we had left the others to pack up the hotel room and move to the next safe house. Their lives weren’t disrupted like mine had been. Their jobs involved disappearing, criminal activity, and subterfuge on a daily basis; they were going back to their routines. I was the one that was leaving a life behind, a career, friends and family.

Family. I was running from my family. Who knew what Hyungwon was doing right now. Was he trying to murder dad on his own? Was he in hiding, licking his wounds, waiting for the chance to rise up and strike again? Was he hell bent on revenge and searching for me as we speak? The possibilities felt endless.

And my father...my father. I had no clue what to think about him. He was this criminal mastermind, yet he didn’t know about Hyungwon being alive? What would he do with me once he found out I knew about his real job? Everything about my life before this week was fiction; I didn’t know anything about my dad. I had no clue how he would respond once he found out. Would he try and justify it me? Would he try to get rid of me? Would he not give a damn?

I hated having so many questions. The unknown was way more terrifying than actual things to be afraid of. I didn’t want to think about the huge question mark that was plaguing my head right now. In the back of the sedan Jooheon was driving, I scrunched my eyes closed and jammed the bridge of my nose into Hoseok’s shoulder as hard as I could, until it hurt. The pain gave me something else to concentrate on. That and the fact that it made Hoseok rub the back of my head, trying to comfort me. He didn’t say anything; he knew words wouldn’t make me feel any better at this moment.

Jooheon parked at the airport. Even though we weren’t supposed to, all four of us left the car there. Over the last few days, it was the least offensive law that we had broken. Jooheon and Kihyun were planning on taking public transportation or another stolen car back. We had been tracked to easily so far to keep the same vehicle for long periods of time.

We were barely inside the airport when our way was blocked by a group of people. There was a wall of suits and sunglasses, big men that I didn’t recognize. Hoseok was immediately in front of me, pulling me back behind him instinctually. I felt Jooheon and Kihyun right behind me, the three of them enclosing me in a protective triangle. 

One man walked around the wall of people, pulling off his sunglasses as he did so. He was taller than everyone there, slender, and dressed in a very expensive grey suit. The smile on his face didn’t quite reach his eyes, and by the way he carried himself I knew he was angry. 

“Father,” I whispered to myself. Hoseok squeezed my hand hard, making it feel like it was going to break. The pain was something to focus on, however, because right now my head was spinning. How did he know we would be here? Why had I never noticed how intimidating he was? Was he here to kill us? Could he kill us in the middle of an airport?

The past few days had me in crazy mode. Of course he couldn’t kill us at the airport. What could he really do to us here? We already had people staring at the bizarre scene: a group of men blocking the path of smaller group of people.

“No worries, airport security has been paid well to look the other direction,” Youngjin, my father, said, apparently reading my mind. I needed to work on my poker face. “They won’t interfere, as long as you cooperate.”

I could almost hear Hoseok grinding his teeth. “What do you want?” he spat, his tone furious. I couldn’t see his face, but I could feel the anger coming off him in waves. We were so close to escape that we could taste it. 

Father had met my fiancè a few times before. He knew him as Wonho, the professor; the normal, dorky guy that his daughter was going to marry. I knew I didn’t hide the surprise from my face when my father replied, “Oh, Hoseok, you know what I want. My daughter can’t leave. I lost my wife, my son...and now I have a chance to have my family back again. A son risen from the grave, my doting daughter at my side,” he sighed theatrically. “I just want my family whole.”

“What about what she wants?” Hoseok replied, apparently not thrown off by the fact Youngjin knew his real name. 

Youngjin waved his hand dismissively. “She’s a young lady, she doesn’t know what she wants. She thinks she wants a husband and kids, a career, a pony...whatever it is little girls dream about. What she really wants,” he pointed at me for emphasis. “Is to make her daddy proud. All little girls want to make their father’s happy.”

His words might have been true a week ago. When I thought about my dad before, I did want to make him proud of me. I worked hard to become a doctor, find a good man, live a good life, not just because I wanted to, but because I knew my father would be satisfied by those things as well. I had always been ‘daddy’s little girl.’ The thought made my stomach churn; suddenly I wanted to throw up.

“Darling,” Youngjin said, now speaking directly to me. “Come with me, and it will be okay. No one is going to harm you. If you come peacefully.” 

I really didn’t have a choice. Not only did they outnumber us, a fight in the middle of the airport terminal wasn’t going to do anything positive for anyone here. I chewed my bottom lip, feeling Hoseok’s sweaty hand squeeze mine again. I leaned into his back with my shoulder, standing as close to him as I possibly could from the angle I was at. “Only if he comes with me.”

I was surprised when my father nodded. “I expected that. Actually,” his eyes slid over to Hoseok’s, “I wanted that. I have seen how dedicated you are to my daughter. It’s admirable. I can’t let you go; you’re a wild card. A man with nothing to lose...nothing but her.” He shook his head, still smiling that eerie smile. “A dangerous enemy to have on the loose. So, you can come.”

“And,” I piped up, a little braver this time. “These two get to leave. Freely.”

Youngjin’s smile slipped, but he nodded his acquiescence. “Understood, and already in the plan.” 

It was my turn to squeeze Hoseok’s hand in reassurance. “Okay,” I said, sounding more confident than I felt. “Then let’s go.”

~ * ~ * ~

The car ride was long, and we weren’t blind folded so we knew where we were going. I had learned that this was possibly a bad thing. Did my dad plan on killing us when we got to wherever it was we were headed? Was he going to lock us up, imprison us? He had been tight lipped since we got in the limo, staring out the window and ignoring Hoseok and I. I had no idea what kind of person he was any more, what he was capable of. We were driving into the unknown. 

Not too far out of Seoul was a warehouse district. The buildings ranged from busy to deserted, semi trucks passing us in both directions, but very little traffic otherwise. The driver seemed to be navigating us further and further from the city, father out into the quiet areas. He finally pulled into the parking lot of a large, hangar-like warehouse, rusted blue and white, with a dome roof. 

We were in the middle of nowhere. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. The wind whipped my hair around my face when I stepped out of the limo, the force of it nearly knocking me down. The air was cold, bitter, chilling me to the bone in an instant. I tried to get my hair out of my face, but it was no use; the wind was just too much.

Hoseok and I were led inside the warehouse. It was clean and open, smelling of pine wood and dust mixed with metal and gun oil. There were rows of shelves that went beyond where I could see, large wooden crates filling each. There was an office off to the side, a few trucks parked neatly near the garage doors, and a wide open space in the middle dotted with tables and chairs. The lighting was perfect; not too bright, not to dim, allowing you to see people’s faces, but keeping things in the distance in shadow.

Hoseok was watching my face, rather than surveying the surroundings. He reached up both hands and tucked my wind-blown hair behind my ears for me, smoothing down the run away wisps. He offered an encouraging smile, but I could read his eyes. He was worried. I linked my arm in his and we followed Youngjin into the building. 

We were made to sit in two folding chairs, side by side, while my father spoke with some of the men already in the building. If this were a different situation, I would almost be amused by the fact you could tell just by looking which men were part of the business side, and which men were there for protection. A skinny guy with wire rimmed glasses and a permanent scowl on his face handed Youngjin a phone after whispering a few details. 

Everyone was distracted for half a second. Hoseok leaned over to me, murmuring that everything would be ok. His words were not reassuring to me. Everyone in this warehouse looked dangerous, my father included. I wasn’t sure what he wanted with me, but I didn’t think any of this could turn out good after the week I had just experienced.

Someone came bursting out of the office, a whirlwind of anger and shouting. It took a moment to register it was Hyungwon, making a beeline toward us. His face was in Hoseok’s before anyone knew what was happening.

“Come into my house,” he exclaimed, fire in his eyes. “Kill my men, destroy my property, and just leave me there for the police to clean up?” 

Hoseok didn’t flinch; he didn’t back away or change expression at all. He returned Hyungwon’s furious look with indifference, apparently not surprised by this tirade. “Too bad the police didn’t do their job,” he replied in a quiet tone.

Hyungwon wanted to hit Hoseok; I could see it in his stance, his expression, his eyes. But something was holding him back. Unable to ruffle Hoseok’s feathers, he turned to look at me, his face inches from my own. I didn’t having the training or experience Hoseok had. I flinched back at the anger he directed toward me. 

“You,” he spat the word out as though it tasted bad in his mouth. “My dearest sister, I see where your loyalties lie. Not with your family like they should. You’re just like all the other girls, going with the guy that fu-”

“Enough.” Father’s voice cut across the building, echoing across the high ceilings. He snapped the phone shut and handed it back to the scowling man with glasses. “I will not have my children fighting. This is a happy occasion. Everyone is back together. Remember, son, we’re a family.”

“Tell her that,” Hyungwon replied. However, he stood up, crossed his arms, and took a step back from Hoseok and I. 

Youngjin walked over and put his arm around Hyungwon’s shoulders. “She’s had a rough couple of days. Give her a little time. You just came back from the dead; everyone needs to adjust.”

I was so confused at this point, I didn’t know what to believe. Apparently father knew about Hyungwon being alive, though for how long he had known, I couldn’t be certain. He must have been the one to save Hyungwon from the police raid, but again, I wasn’t sure how that happened. Hoseok and I were here, alive, but I didn’t know what my father wanted from the two of us. This whole situation was impossible to understand.

“So,” Hoseok said, gently resting a hand on my knee. “We’re here now. We came willingly, quietly. I assume you have a reason for not letting us leave the country. You haven’t killed us, yet, so I am assuming you have plans for us that involve us being alive.” He was staring intently at my father as he talked, possibly trying to get a read from his expression. “I’m kinda known for my impatience, so I was wondering if we could be clued in on the plan so I know what to be prepared for.”

“The only reason you are alive,” Youngjin said. “Is because my daughter seems to have a fondness for you. You lied to her about who you were, yet she still accepts you and trusts you. There must be something admirable in you. I want to know what that is, because I need to replicate it, or use it. Maybe I can find a good use for you in the business…” he trailed off, as though coming up with a scheme as he said the words.

“I trust him because he’s protected me from you,” I interjected, feeling my ire stir at being talked about as if I wasn’t in the room. “The two of you have done nothing in the past week except scare me, try to kidnap me, or kill me. He’s saved me every time.”

“No one wanted to kill you,” my father clarified.

“Well… not at first,” Hyungwon corrected. Youngjin smacked the back of his son’s head before withdrew his arm to his side. 

“Be nice to your sister,” he scolded.

I wanted to laugh hysterically. There was nothing funny about it; this was utter insanity. If I wasn’t going crazy, then those two men had lost their minds. I wanted to grab Hoseok’s hand and made a run for it, but the half dozen men around us made escape seem impossible. 

“It’s nice to see you two have made up,” Hoseok’s voice piped up all of a sudden. “I mean, I’d find it difficult to forgive my son for plotting to kill me.”

Youngjin’s face tightened, a flinch of his jaw betraying the anger he felt. “It was a misunderstanding. Hyungwon and I have agreed that working together would be better than working against each other.”

Yeah, because father saved your ass, I thought, looking at my brother. He was glaring back at me as though he could read my mind. Hyungwon, in all the years I knew him before he died, had never been an angry, spiteful person. He had been a good guy, the type of person you wanted as an older sibling. I wondered what happened to him over the past few years to turn him into this person, this dark, angry guy with a huge chip on his shoulder. It was a shame he could change this much, into such an evil person.

“So,” Youngjin clapped his hands together, startling everyone into looking at him. “It’s time to go. Dearest daughter, you will be coming home with me, I have a room all set up for you. You won’t be able to leave the grounds, or really even leave the house, until we can trust you, but it is quite comfy so I don’t think you’ll mind.”

My father was going to imprison me in his house? What kind of bad TV action drama was this? He thought he could force us all to be a family again? He thought I wanted to be family with a bunch of criminals?

“Hoseok, you’ll be going with my boys. They have some questions to ask you, some...training to give you,” Youngjin smiled at Hoseok, a smile I started to recognize as being fake. I felt my heart sink as I realized what that meant. I was probably never going to see my fiancé again if we separated here.

I opened my mouth to object, but Hoseok grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly. I looked over at him and he shook his head. He didn’t want me to say anything. Why?

The building went dark. The windows were all covered by black paper anyway, so no sunlight could get in. The electricity went out, sending the whole place into pitch black. Hoseok already had my hand, he tugged at me and I let him lead me away as voices starting lifting up into shouts.

I couldn’t see anything beyond my nose, so I relied on Hoseok’s instincts to lead us somewhere safe. Recalling that this was what happened at Hyungwon’s, I wondered if this was planned by our friends. Were we being rescued? How would they know where we were?

Hoseok stopped, turned, and wrapped me in his arms, hugging me close to his chest. “It’s a dead end,” he whispered. “I’m not sure where we are. The lights will be back on in a second though.”

“Is it-” I started to ask.

“Yeah. I had a tracking device put on me. I activated it when we got here. Kihyun had a suspicion that we wouldn’t be able to get out of the country that easily. He was right,” Hoseok sighed. “He’s always right.” 

“So you were just biding time…” I trailed off, amazed at the forethought my new group of criminal friends had.

“Trying to, yeah.” Hoseok squeezed me tighter. “No more talking. Just follow my lead when the lights come on, ok?”

I nodded, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to still my thudding heart. The adrenaline had already kicked in and felt ready to run or fight for my life. When the lights popped on I almost fell over from the change in brightness. My eyes were hyper-sensitive; I felt blinded.

Hoseok had been ready, however. We were amongst the stacks of crates on shelves, but where in the warehouse I couldn’t tell. I let him lead me as shouts could be heard from all around. In the echoing building it sounded like we were surrounded on all sides.

I flinched as I heard gun fire, even though it sounded far off in the building. It was only a few rounds, but my heart fluttered as I wondered who got shot. I didn’t want anyone to die, I just wanted to be free of these people trying to control my life. 

There was more shouting and sounds of clattering running feet. Hoseok was weaving us in and out of aisles, heading in a general direction of what I hoped was an exit. The sound of police sirens was heard the far distance. At this point I would be happy for the police to show up and arrest everyone, sorting out the mess at a later point. 

At some point, Hoseok must have taken a wrong turn. We ended up back in the middle where all the people, the chaos, was occurring. People were hiding behind tables and crates, using them for cover while shooting guns at each other. Hyungwon was on the floor, clutching at his leg, crying over the prone body of Youngjin, our father. My eyes locked on the scene, even as Hoseok pulled me back into the aisle, behind a crate. 

He was now dragging me down the row, as I found my feet unable to fully function. My head was spinning at the thought that my father was most likely dead, on the ground, shot and killed by God knows who. Hoseok was trying to urge me on, to get me to move faster, and I wanted to comply, but my brain was not listening. It was focused on the horror going on around me, on the pain that my heart felt at sight I just witnessed.

We stopped up short as a man appeared in the aisle in front of us. He fired a gun before we could anything. Hoseok’s quick reflexes had us dodging down a side row just as the sound of the gun fired. We found ourselves in a different row, closer to the chaos, still able to hear the man chasing after us. He rounded the corner; we had nowhere to go. His gun was up, ready to shoot. There was the sound of a gun firing and I closed my eyes, ready for the pain.

There was nothing. When I opened my eyes, the man was slumped on the ground in front of us, Minhyuk in the background with a gun pointing at the prone body. “Glad I could save the day,” he said, looking up to grin at us. “Once again, I’ll be your tour guide. Follow me.”

Hoseok put an arm around my shoulders to lead me toward Minhyuk. We followed him through the maze of crates swiftly, exiting out the back side of the building after a few minutes. Hoseok sat on the ground of the empty field that was in the back of the warehouse. Kihyun was already there; when he saw us he began talking into a headset, apparently telling the others that we were safe.

The sirens were much louder, about to be here any minute. I looked at Kihyun, unable to keep the worry from my eyes. “I thought the police worked for my father,”

Kihyun shook his head. “We found cops that weren’t on his payroll. This isn’t local, this is federal. Don’t worry; they’ll be arrested for real this time.”

If my father is still even alive, I thought, but didn’t voice. At this point I was just relieved it was over. There would be time to mourn my father later, if need be. I smiled down at Hoseok, about to thank him when I realized he was a lot paler than normal. His face was twisted into a pained looked, and he was clutching at his side over his jacket.

As the others burst through the back door, I fell to my knees at his side, panic rising in my throat. He tried to keep his jacket closed, but in the end I was stronger than he was. His white t-shirt had a large crimson spot, a growing stain around the gunshot wound in his side. I almost choked, my stomach threatening to spill all it’s contents. This wasn’t the first gunshot wound I had seen; I was a doctor after all. But it was a bad wound, and it was on the person I loved more than anyone else on the planet.

“It’s not too bad,” Hoseok tried to smile at me, but he couldn’t. 

“Holy shit,” Minhyuk said, standing over us. 

I immediately went to put pressure on the wound, trying to focus on my doctor training. It’s not in the area of anything too vital, but he was already so pale. I didn’t have any tools to immediately get the bullet out, but could I operate in the middle of a field behind a warehouse? What if the police came and interrupted it? What hospital was closest, and would he last until we got there?

I couldn’t think straight. I should check if the bullet went all the way through, but moving him would be too painful. “IM!” I shouted, even though he was right next to me. “Help.”

I couldn’t see anything because my vision was suddenly blurry. What happened to my eyes? My mouth wouldn’t stop repeating IM’s name, and my hands were impossibly numb. Wet drops appeared on Hoseok’s t-shirt, next to the red stain. I looked up to figure out why it was raining on a clear, sunny day. 

IM kept repeating my name, trying to move me back. Hoseok’s eyes were closed and his breathing was shallow. He looked like he could have been sleeping. I wanted to kiss him, to wake him up, to tell him it was going to be ok. 

I felt arms wrap around me and pull me back, away from Hoseok. I struggled, but my strength seemed to have drained away. Through my blurry vision I could see Jooheon holding me, one arm wrapped around my arms and chest, to hold me in his lap. I looked at my hands, dripping with sticky red liquid, smelling of copper and sulfur. My brain was in a fog, my face felt wet, my eyes were swollen, and my voice wouldn’t work. I could see IM leaning over Hoseok, motioning for Minhyuk to come help him.

The sirens were ear splittingly close now, probably in front of the building. Hyungwon and my father were going to be arrested, along with their men. The police might find us back here and arrest us too. I couldn’t bring myself to care. We won this battle, but I was losing the one thing that meant everything to me. 

I had to wonder...was it worth it?

Epilogue ~ 3 years later

I had always hated the beach growing up. Sand that got in every crook and crevice, salty water that made your skin sticky afterward, the hot sun that made you sweat uncomfortably. It had never been my thing.

Now, sitting on a towel, under an umbrella, I admired the clear blue-green waves and felt refreshed by the salty breeze. Our backyard was the beach, followed by the ocean; our little house was cozy and comfortable all year long. Our neighbors were far enough away that they couldn’t be seen, but close enough that you could walk to borrow a cup of sugar. 

I watched my daughter play in the waves nearby. She was a little over two years old, and could only splash around and make piles of mud that were her sandcastles, but she loved the water and played in it every day. I was lucky enough that I didn’t have to work on the small island; I could spend time with her on the beach daily.

From here I could see her father’s traits; she had Hoseok’s ears that stuck out a little too much, and the perfect slant of his eyes. Her mouth was going to be like his, always moving, always smiling, showing her gums or her tongue at odd times, just to be goofy. She had my nose and face shape; she was a perfect blend of the two of us. I was glad to have her as a reminder of Hoseok on a daily basis. 

The sun was sinking low over the water, not yet kissing the horizon, but close. It would be time to go in and start dinner soon. I’d rather sit out on the beach and enjoy the outdoors longer with my girl. 

I felt someone approach me from behind. I smiled but didn’t turn. My husband had returned from his work; he was the the owner of the local bar. He worked the day shift, preferring to spend the nights with his family. I felt him sit behind me, wrap his legs around either side of me, and scoot up close. I leaned back against his chest, comforted by his arms wrapping around me. After it was all said and done, he was the one who made me feel safe.

“Has she been at it all day again?” he asked, indicating the girl playing in the waves.

“She loves the water,” I reminded him. 

The little girl looked up at us and with great effort, pushed herself to a standing position to run toward us. “Daddy!” she cried, throwing herself into my lap.

“Hi, baby girl,” he said, ruffling her hair. 

She couldn’t speak full sentences yet, but she tried her hardest to talk about her day. We listened to her babble with the adoration that only parents could have for their own children. When she was done, we laughed with her. She yelled her final word, “Airplane!” He stood, untangling himself from me to pick up his daughter.

“Airplane it is,” Hoseok said, scooping her up and twirling her around in the air. Her screaming giggles I was sure could be heard for miles. He swooped her toward the house, flying her like the airplane she wanted to be. 

I gathered up the towel and umbrella and followed the two most precious things in my life, my daughter and my Hoseok, back to our house, our safe haven, our home.


End file.
